In Love and Death We Don't Decide
by stonecoldhedwig
Summary: A Marauders era fic, inspired by the song "Lost" by Dermot Kennedy. Covers the Marauders' final year at Hogwarts, as Sirius realises that his bad boy image might not be so accurate any more. Certain liberties taken with small things - Quidditch positions etc. Eventual Jily, eventual Blackinnon. Minimal Wormtail because he's about as interesting as wet lettuce.
1. Blame It On The Hangover

"On a scale of one to ten," Sirius began quietly.

"How screwed are you?" James replied, nursing his cup of tea and running a hand through his already-crumpled hair.

"Yeah."

"I'm going to give it a solid eleven, Padfoot," James finished dryly, and helped himself to another piece of toast.

Sirius grunted, and did the same. James looked bad, but Sirius, quite frankly, thought this was the hangover that was actually going to end his life. His brain felt foggy, he was sweating, and somehow the noise of the Great Hall at breakfast was simultaneously muffled and louder than it had ever been. He cursed himself inwardly for forgetting that he had run out of hangover tonic the weekend before.

The night before had been… eventful, to say the least. It was the first Quidditch match of the year, and Gryffindor had beaten Hufflepuff - the previous year's champions - so resoundingly that their captain, Amos Diggory, had cried. The match had been a slow starter, as both teams battled with the unseasonal fog that had rolled in from the Black Lake during the night and clung to the pitch. James had been winded by a bludger that had escaped Sirius' notice in the fog, and at one point the teams seemed to end up with keepers at the same end of the pitch. Fortunately, the second half saw the sun break through and burn off most of the fog, and the game picked up from there. Still, it had been another 90 minutes before the Gryffindor seeker, Marlene McKinnon, had got a handle on the snitch.

Of course, that was the same Marlene that Sirius had ended up kissing at the afterparty in the Gryffindor common room, pushing her against the wall in full sight of the whole house and, more importantly, Marlene's on-again-off-again-we're-not-talking-about-it boyfriend, Gideon Prewett, one of the Gryffindor chasers. The same Marlene that Sirius had been friends with, oh, since they were eleven, and who had always been pretty, sure, but who had never crossed the line into kissable. Not until last night, at any rate.

"Have you seen Prewett this morning?" came a voice from Sirius' right as Remus Lupin flung himself down and immediately grabbed for the pitcher of orange juice.

"Good morning to you, too, Remus," Sirius replied snidely. Remus raised an eyebrow, and Sirius sighed. "No, as it happens, I haven't seen him since I made out with his girlfriend last night."

"There was a lot of tongue. Lots of limbs. It was certainly… something," Remus finished awkwardly.

"That it most certainly was," James looked at Sirius. "Where did that come from, anyway? You've never been into Marlene."

"Do I look like I know where it came from?" Sirius replied.

"It had better not screw with the team; we were lucky yesterday with the conditions, and we can't be dealing with drama between you two when we're up against Ravenclaw next month."

Sirius held up his hands.

"I am very happy to never mention it again, trust me," he said.

"Where's Wormtail this morning?" Remus asked, as though suddenly remembering.

"Haven't the foggiest," Sirius replied briskly. Of the four Marauders, Peter and Sirius had the sort of personalities that grated on each other. Sure, Sirius loved him like a brother because he loved them all like brothers - more so than his own biological one, actually. But, Peter was like the annoying baby sibling of the group for Sirius; it's unlikely they'd have been friends without the other two gluing them together.

"Incoming," James said, nodding towards the door of the Great Hall and instinctively patting his hair in an attempt to neaten it.

The other two turned to see four girls enter the hall, laughing together, and making a beeline straight for their usual place at the Gryffindor table. That place being next to the Marauders, because that was where Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadows and Mary Macdonald had sat since the middle of sixth year when, by some miracle, Lily could stand being within a six foot radius of James Potter. Now the two were Head Boy and Girl, they couldn't avoid each other anymore, and the friendship between the two groups had solidified.

"How do they look so fresh?" Sirius growled. "My mouth tastes like something died in it. I think I might be about to die, actually."

Remus gave him a look out the corner of his eye, but said nothing as the girls approached the table.

"Good morning, you horrors," Mary said brightly, sliding onto the bench next to Remus.

"Morning," James replied, through a mouthful of egg.

"How fresh are we feeling this morning?"

"Not as fresh as you look, Mary," Sirius offered with a wink and a smile.

"Flirt," Mary grinned with a roll of her eyes. "Don't think that'll work on me like it did on Marlene last night."

Remus snorted into his glass of orange juice, and Marlene fixed him with a death stare.

"Black and I were very drunk," she said cooly, avoiding Sirius' gaze entirely. "It's never going to happen again."

"Must you wound me so when I'm so fragile, McKinnon?" Sirius feigned, clutching a hand to his chest.

The group laughed, and Marlene finally met his dark eyes with her blue ones. She gave him a smile, more relaxed now, and tutted.

"You'll live, I'm sure," she said drolly.

As she turned away to look at Lily, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder, Sirius felt a flutter of something somewhere in his stomach. What the fuck, he thought, that's never happened before.

* * *

After they had finished breakfast, the group made their way slowly back to Gryffindor tower. It was a glorious September day, and they planned to collect their books in order to study by the lake to make the most of it. Sirius noticed Marlene at the back of the group, a slight frown creasing between her brows. He hung back to speak with her, ignoring James' raised eyebrows and slight smirk.

"Hey, McKinnon," he said, nudging her shoulder with his, drawing her from whatever had been consuming her thoughts.

"Please tell me you're not coming onto me again, Black," she replied with a grin.

"What, in case you kiss me again?" he said with a wink. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide the ghost of a smile on her lips.

"I think you kissed me, actually," she replied.

"Yeah, about that…" Sirius ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. "I hope I haven't fucked things up with Prewett for you."

Marlene waved a hand.

"No, we talked this morning. We were done anyway. On-again-off-again can only last so long, right? Guess we just needed a catalyst to finish it properly, I suppose," she shrugged.

"So, what you're saying," Sirius said slowly, "is that my kissing you was, in fact, doing you a major favour?"

Marlene laughed, and swatted him with the back of her hand.

"What I'm saying is that we're cool, Black."

"Good to know," Sirius replied, as they approached the Fat Lady and entered the common room.

"But," Marlene said, pausing at the foot of the stairs to the girls' dormitories, "if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll remove your balls from your body quicker that you can reach for your wand." She grinned lazily, her eyes fiery. "And that's not a euphemism."

"Have I ever told me how much you turn me on when you talk dirty, McKinnon?"

"Just keeping you on your toes," she called over her shoulder, ascending the stairs. Sirius watched her go, feeling again the frisson of excitement in his stomach. He couldn't quite wrap his head around it - it was Marlene McKinnon, for goodness sake. They'd been friends for a long time, never anything else. What's more, she was Sirius' match when it came to casual relationships and commitment-phobia; if there was one thing that could be relied upon, it was that.

Shaking his head at himself, Sirius began to climb the stairs to the dormitory, and resolved to blame it on the hangover.


	2. No One Dates Someone For Their Skin

Hogwarts was glorious at that time of year, as the days slipped from September to October, and the first vestiges of autumn colours could be seen dappled on the trees. It was still warm enough that the grounds were crowded with students, who revelled in the sunny afternoons after the morning frost had been burned away. The Marauders soaked up these days - seventh year brought with it the threat of NEWTS and that wide, open future before them that stood so uncertain. They were keenly aware that they only had so long left at Hogwarts together, and resolved to savour every second.

The first weekend in October arrived, and with it the prospect of a day in Hogsmeade. Sirius was awoken that morning from a deep sleep by a thump across the face with a pillow.

"Oi, Padfoot, get up," James' voice came from above him, and Sirius cracked open his eyes. Light streamed in through the windows, and he was forced to squint to see Remus and Peter dressing across the room, laughing at something he hadn't caught.

"What was that for?" he snarled. "Fuck off."

"Hogsmeade, bud," James said, grinning. "Don't want to be late for breakfast and miss the opportunity to walk down with some pretty company, do we?"

"Fine," Sirius growled, swinging himself up and out of bed. "But you can still fuck off."

He washed and dressed quickly, mentally acknowledging the fact that James was right about being late for breakfast. After throwing on his trademark leather jacket, he checked his appearance in the mirror. Given it was a Saturday, he'd neglected to shave, and ran a hand across his stubble, and then through his hair. It was still short, not yet in the trademark long locks he'd come to sport later in life; unlike James', however, running his fingers through the curls did manage to tame it somewhat. _Good enough_, he thought.

As they walked to the doorway, Sirius clocked what Remus was wearing, and laughed.

"One day, Moony," he said, throwing an arm around his friend's shoulders, "we'll get you to ditch the sweater vests."

* * *

_Breakfast_, Sirius thought, _really did work wonders_. He took another bite of his bacon sandwich, and nodded as Remus offered to pour him coffee. They were early to breakfast, and the Great Hall was fairly empty still, with just a light hum of chatter as students felt the last hold of tiredness washed away by coffee and tea. Saturdays like this were some of his favourites, where they forgot for a few moments the expectations of Quidditch, classwork and the future. He'd been looking forward to the Hogsmeade visit for a while, ready to blow off some steam with his friends.

"I need to go to Zonko's," James said, bringing Sirius from his thoughts to the conversation.

"Yeah, me too," Peter replied, pouring himself another glass of juice. "I'm all out of stink bombs."

"Forgot you used the last in Slughorn's class," James chuckled, and Peter grinned back at him. "How about you, Pads?"

"Zonko's, yeah," Sirius replied, "and I want to go to Honeyduke's."

"Obviously," Remus rolled his eyes. "Your sweet tooth is going to rot all your teeth, Padfoot."

"Either that or you're going to end up the size of Hogwarts," Peter added.

Sirius patted his abs under his t-shirt, toned from the endless Quidditch, nights running around as an animagi, and that blessed good luck of a seventeen-year-old metabolism.

"Jealousy isn't a great look, gentlemen, but I know you can't all be blessed with a body like mine," he quipped.

James snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what the problem is," he said.

"I've seen you naked, Prongs, don't even pretend," Sirius retorted.

"Desperate to hear that story," came a voice from behind him, and he swivelled to find himself face-to-face with Marlene, flanked by the other girls, and with an amused look on her face.

"A gentleman never tells, Miss McKinnon," Sirius replied, holding her gaze for just a little too long. As she took a seat at the table, Sirius could have sworn he'd seen a blush rise briefly to her cheeks. _McKinnon, embarrassed? Never. _

"If it's all the same," Lily said, reaching for a piece of toast, "I'd rather not hear the story."

"Ditto," Mary added.

"Shall we move on?" Remus said smoothly, noting the fierce blush that had appeared on James' face. "We were just saying we wanted to go to Zonko's and Honeyduke's - anywhere you ladies need to be in Hogsmeade today?"

"I need new quills and parchment, desperately," Marlene said. "Aside from that, I'm easy."

"Bet you are," Sirius replied instinctively.

"Yes, thank you, Sirius," Remus continued, sounding like someone's dad. In combination with the sweater vest he was sporting, it was hard for Sirius not to laugh.

"You're such a dick, Black," Marlene replied, rolling her eyes. "Dorcas, did you say you wanted to get a new Transfiguration textbook?"

"Mine is irreparable after the fire incident," Dorcas said morosely. "I knew I should have thought better of being Aoife Finnegan's Transfiguration partner."

"That girl is a menace," James said. "Love her to pieces, obviously, but I don't understand how she's got to seventh year and is still setting everything on fire."

"A mystery for the ages," Sirius added. "If we've only got a few things to get, I suggest we convene in the Three Broomsticks for lunch. Rosmerta owes me a round of drinks, remember."

"I cannot understand how you have Rosmerta wrapped around your finger, she was a seventh year when we joined Hogwarts!" Remus exclaimed.

"What can I say, charm and good looks get you far," Sirius smirked. "I actually ran into her in Diagon Alley in the summer after…" he paused for a moment, suddenly feeling self conscious about revealing to anyone outside the Marauders that he'd run into his parents in Diagon Alley over the summer, gone and got ragingly drunk in the Leaky Cauldron in order to cope with it, and ultimately ended up vomiting in the Potters' front garden. "After going to that gig, Moony," he finished lamely.

Remus and James shared a brief look of understanding.

"Yeah, I remember you saying," Remus nodded. "Surely you owe her a drink, then?

"Nah, she said there's always a free round for her favourites," he winked.

"Please tell me you have not hooked up with Rosmerta," Lily groaned.

"Evans! Can't a guy get on with a girl without any ulterior motives?!"

"First off," Lily replied, counting on her fingers, "don't think we don't all remember the truth-or-dare over the summer where you said you've fancied Rosmerta since you were like, twelve. And second, I think the four of us are the only girls you been friends with who you haven't managed to hook up with. Well…" she grinned, "until you kissed Marlene."

"Okay, okay," Marlene said, rolling her eyes as her friends laughed, "I thought we had tacitly agreed never to talk about that."

"Given you threatened to cut my balls off, McKinnon," Sirius said, suddenly serious, "I'd like it noted for the record that I did not bring it up."

"Consider it noted, Black," she replied.

* * *

The walk to Hogsmeade passed quickly, as the eight of them chatted and joked together. Sirius watched, an amused smile on his face, as James and Lily talked, laughing at each other's jokes. Only a year ago they'd barely been able to be in the same room. Lily's years of rejections had, for a while at least, made James bitter about the whole situation, and he'd reacted with his typical hot-headedness to the point where they'd fought like alley cats.

"I take it he's not over her, then?" came a voice to his left, and Sirius looked down to see Marlene in step with him. He made an incredulous face at her.

"Are you joking? Prongs has been sweet on Evans since we were eleven, McKinnon. That's not going away any time soon."

Marlene smiled.

"Yeah, but you never know with boys. Them being friends with each other might mean that he's decided to shag someone else, or something."

"Not fucking likely," Sirius snorted. "For all his flirting, he's as smitten with her as he always was."

"You mean…?" Marlene looked at him with surprise.

"He's never been with anyone else, no," Sirius replied, lowering his voice. "Even when she hated him, making out with a girl was as far as he'd go. Last time I asked about it, he smacked me in the face, so it's a sensitive subject."

"That's sort of sweet, you know."

"Really? Didn't take you for a romantic, McKinnon."

"Oh come on, Black," she said, shoving him with her elbow. "There's a difference between thinking it's quite nice that James isn't fucking everything that moves like you are, and being a hopeless romantic."

"Alright, alright," Sirius replied, pretending to be hurt, "that was very personal. For your information, I don't fuck everything that moves. I'm very discerning in my tastes when it comes to women."

"Really?" Marlene raised an eyebrow.

"Kissed you, didn't I?" he smirked.

"Watch your balls, Black," she retorted, and hurried to catch up with the others. Watching her go, Sirius couldn't help but smile. Catching himself, he noticed again that buzz running from his chest to his stomach. Well, _shit_. He was starting to realise he might be in deeper than he'd thought when it came to Marlene McKinnon.

* * *

"Eight butterbeers! And don't you go getting too rowdy, mind you," Madam Rosmerta said, as she set a tray down on the wooden table.

"You're a darling, Rosmerta," Sirius purred, slipping an arm round her waist for a squeeze.

"And you, Sirius Black, are a flirt," Rosmerta replied, swatting his hand away and walking off to the bar. Sirius grinned after her, before turning back to his friends.

"Well, you certainly didn't disappoint, Pads," James said, handing round the beers to the girls.

"That's what girls tell me, too," Sirius replied, and took a long gulp of the butterbeer as his friends groaned at the joke.

"Speaking of girls," Mary said, resting her own beer back on the table, "a little birdie told me that a certain Emmeline Vance was seen chatting up our boy Lupin in the library."

Remus blushed bright red.

"What?!" James rounded on Remus, a wild smile on his face. "You sly bastard, you never said!"

"She wasn't chatting me up!" Remus protested. "At least, I don't think she was. She wanted some help with her Transfiguration essay, that's all."

"Remus, honey, Emmeline Vance has never needed Transfiguration help in her life, because she's never dropped a single mark in that class," Marlene said, looking at Remus over the top of her glass.

"Well…" Remus looked flustered. "I'm sure it was nothing."

"Want me to ask her for you?" Sirius asked.

"Absolutely not," Remus replied, a little too quickly.

"With your success rate," Lily said, "that'd be a surefire way for her to never want to talk to Remus again."

"Damn rude," Sirius fired back. "I am very successful with the ladies, when I want to be." He gestured to the free butterbeer. "Case in point."

"Oh, yeah," Dorcas said, "like free beer is the same as actually wanting to date someone."

"Of course I'd date someone," Sirius said with a frown. "Just needs to be my perfect woman, that's all."

"Who's your perfect woman, then?" Marlene asked, a little too casually for Sirius' liking.

"That'd be telling, wouldn't it, McKinnon? Anyway, my dating life isn't nearly as interesting as James'." He nudged his best friend.

"What?" James spluttered. "I'm not dating anyone."

"C'mon, Potter, who are you having your wicked way with?" Marlene asked, catching Sirius' eye as she did so. He winked at her in return.

"I'm concentrating on schoolwork, you know," James said awkwardly.

Mary laughed, her brow furrowing.

"Lies, Potter, you've never had to worry about schoolwork in your life. None of you have," she said, gesturing to the Marauders.

"I take my studies very seriously, I'll have you know," Sirius said.

"Black, you got all Exceeds Expectations and Outstandings in your OWLs, and you were drunk for most of them."

"Wrong!" Sirius replied. "I got one Acceptable, same as James."

"Really?" Dorcas asked. "Which one?"

"History of Magic," Sirius grinned in response. "And quite frankly, that's a miracle."

"Same as mine, actually. God, Binns is so boring, isn't he?" James laughed. "Even Moony didn't get an Outstanding in that class."

The conversation turned to schoolwork, with the group bemoaning the amount they had to do now they were seventh years. As Sirius finished his butterbeer, he looked across the table to study Marlene, puzzled by their interactions. He couldn't work her out - she simultaneously seemed to egg him on with his flirting, matching him in badinage, whilst also telling him she'd quite literally cut his balls off for thinking of going anywhere near her again. He also couldn't work out why looking at her now was having that same effect on him - not just lust, something more than that. She was beautiful, of course. Golden blonde hair, which she often wore held back from her face with a hairband or scarf, and those clear blue eyes that could fix him with a stare so fierce he'd be fearful for his life. Creamy complexion, like an English rose, and-

He shook himself from his daydreaming. _No one dates someone for their skin_, he mused, _stop being weird_. As James set another tray of butterbeers, Sirius reached for one - of course the same one that Marlene went to take. Their hands met round the tankard, and Sirius felt like he was going to burst. Fumbling, he moved for a different beer.

_Fuck. I like her_, he thought.

* * *

The Marauders and the girls sat around the fire in the common room that evening, commandeering the best sofas as soon as they returned from Hogsmeade. After another few rounds of butterbeers, they were feeling giddy, and skipped dinner in favour of getting started on the mounds and mounds of sweets they'd purchased from Honeyduke's, in between games of Exploding Snap. Peter, of all people, introduced them to a new version of the game he'd learnt from his cousins over the summer, and they spent the next few hours rapidly trying to outwit each other and avoid the fairly inevitable singed fingertips.

Midnight came and went, and finally they parted ways when the embers of the fire began to die down around one o'clock. Climbing the stairs behind James, Sirius felt tiredness deep within his bones - but the good kind of tired. He'd missed Hogwarts more than ever over the summer, and now they were a month back in, he'd relaxed into the routine. While there had always been a place for him at the Potters', and they treated him like a member of the family, the last summer had reminded him that he wasn't going to be a Hogwarts student for much longer, and that played on his mind regularly. It had been a welcome relief to be so carefree.

Ablutions complete, the boys threw themselves into their beds, grateful for the pillowy softness of the mattresses and warm covers. James waved his wand lazily at the lamps around the walls of the room, and it descended into darkness. Sirius burrowed a little further into his soft bed.

"Today was good," Remus said sleepily.

"Yeah, it was nice," James replied, and Sirius could hear him fumbling to put his glasses on his bedside table.

"Mary's hilarious," Sirius added. "I completely underestimated how funny she is."

"Right?" James replied.

"Also, Remus, you snake," Sirius said, yawning, "you should have told us about Vance."

"It's nothing," Remus groaned. "It's not like I can date her anyway."

"Why not?" Peter asked.

"Er, _my furry little problem_," Remus replied with uncharacteristic harshness.

"Bullshit," James responded firmly. "If you want to date her, you should. She doesn't have to know, for the moment, and if it went somewhere… well, if she wasn't willing to accept you, then she's not worth your time anyway."

"You always do think in very absolute terms, Prongs," Remus said, but his voice had softened a little.

"True Gryffindor, our James," Sirius said.

"What about you, anyway?" Remus directed his attention toward Sirius. "All this chat earlier about your perfect woman. Why did that feel like you were trying to make a point that none of us were getting?"

"You know me, I like to keep everyone on their toes." Sirius rolled over. "It's Prongs who's found his perfect woman, anyway."

"I'm literally not dating anyone, Padfoot, cut it out."

"No," Sirius said, wrapping his blankets closer around him. "But you want to."

"No, I don't," James began, but Sirius cut him off.

"Yes, you do. Don't think we can't see how you feel about Evans, Jem."

"I told you," James said, an air of frustrated sadness about the way he said it, "I'm over it. She's not into me."

"You're a shit liar," Remus said bluntly.

Silence fell around the room for a couple of seconds, and Sirius couldn't work out if it was just because James had fallen asleep mid-conversation, as Peter seemed to have done. Then, just as Sirius was about to say goodnight to Remus, James spoke.

"Fine," he said, "I still like her. But, she doesn't like me, and I'm genuinely fine about that part. I'd rather have her as a friend than not at all."

"I'm not so sure about that one, old pal," Sirius said. "Something tells me Miss Evans isn't so opposed to you after all."

"Seriously, the way you two were flirting on the way to Hogsmeade today was something to behold," Remus chuckled.

"You think there's a chance?" James asked, his voice not its usual confident.

"Yeah, I do," Sirius slurred, barely able to keep his eyes open any longer.

"Good to know."

* * *

Just as the Marauders talked together in the boys' dormitory, Marlene, Lily, Dorcas and Mary were gathered together on the latter's bed. Marlene sat behind Lily, braiding her hair into neat French plaits on either side of her head.

"The guys were on good form today," Mary said, finishing the last of her chocolate frog.

"They were, weren't they?" Lily said, as Marlene brushed her hair. "Remus is so sweet - do you think he's really into Emmeline?"

"Looked like it - Mary, pass me a hair band - but I think he's too shy," Marlene explained.

"I think that's a mark of all of them, to be honest," Mary said, handing the hair band over to Marlene. "Remus is just worse at hiding it."

"How do you know so much about Remus, anyway?" Marlene fixed Mary with a piercing look, and she blushed.

"Just a guess, I suppose."

"Mary Allison Macdonald!" Lily exclaimed, jumping slightly and earning herself a swat from Marlene for jogging the braid. "You like him, don't you?"

"I don't know!" Mary replied defensively. "He's nice, that's all. But I'm not sure if I like him like a friend, or if I… like him."

"Story of my life," Marlene muttered.

"What does that mean?" Dorcas asked with a frown.

"Nothing," Marlene replied quickly. "There you go, Lils, I'm done."

"That was definitely not nothing," Dorcas pressed.

"Oh my god," Mary said slowly. "I've just clocked it."

Marlene looked at her, eyes wide and panicky. There was no way she could know, she thought. She hadn't even told Lily, and she was her best friend, about Sirius, let alone Mary or Dorcas.

"Clocked what?" Lily asked, looking confused.

"Fuck, Marlene," Mary said, still looking at her.

"Do you two want to let Lily and I in on the secret, or…?" Dorcas asked.

"It's Sirius, right?" Mary asked, looking right at Marlene, who felt like she wanted to curl up into a ball right there on the spot and die. Mary always had been great at reading people, she thought.

"What?!" Lily and Dorcas said in unison, and Marlene sighed.

"You're jumping the gun a little bit, Mary," she began, but was cut off.

"No, no," Mary said, "it all makes sense. No wonder you were weird about it after you guys kissed. And then today at the Three Broomsticks, when he put his arm round Rosmerta and you looked like you were going to cut someone."

"I did not!" Marlene protested.

"Did too," Mary said nonchalantly. 'So c'mon, McKinnon, spit it out."

"He's a fucking great kisser, I'll give him that," Marlene said, and the girls laughed. "No… it's not like we're going to date or anything like that, but…"

"But what?" Lily asked softly.

"But he got under my skin a little bit, after we kissed," Marlene explained. "Like, it's made me feel weird about him, I guess. But, I'll be fine - it's a phase, trust me. I didn't end things with Gideon Prewett of all people to end up liking Sirius Black."

"You sure?" Lily pressed.

"Certain."


	3. Not Everything Is About You

October at Hogwarts was remarkably wet that year. It felt like it had been raining for centuries as Sirius and James sat in the library on a Friday morning, watching the rain out the window and very certainly not doing any work. It pounded the glass, whipped up by the fierce wind, and in the distance, the Whomping Willow could be seen flailing furiously in the tempest.

"Do you think it's ever going to stop raining?" James asked.

"We can but hope, Jem," Sirius replied, fiddling with the end of his quill, where the feathers were fragile and crooked. "Where's Moony?"

"Gryffindor Tower. Trying to get some sleep before tonight."

"Poor bastard," Sirius sighed, "it's going to be foul out there."

"Yeah, it'll be grim. Got to make sure Wormtail doesn't get washed away into the Black Lake, little bugger."

"Of all the creatures," Sirius said softly, "of course he'd be a rat."

It was the night of the month that always filled Sirius simultaneously with dread and excitement - the full moon. Poor Remus, of course, suffered dreadfully with the agony of transforming, his body contorting and twisting wretchedly as he became the werewolf. The pain, too, was in his mind - he didn't have the mercy of retaining his personality or his thoughts when he transformed, instead being given over entirely to his animal was like nothing he could describe, the pure unrivalled torture of descending into the werewolf's consciousness.

Sirius, in comparison, loved transforming. He loved the feel of the ground below the pads of his paws, loved the way the wind blew through his fur, and the way his senses were all heightened. He didn't become the dog, in the way Remus became the wolf, but there was something - a sort of focus, he supposed - that he didn't have in human form. It had always seemed a touch ironic that he only gained that precision of mind when he became a dog.

James, too, revelled in the change, his slender frame becoming long limbs and muscled flanks. They loved to race one another, he and Sirius, charging around the Forbidden Forest with Remus on their heels and Peter on one of their backs. Where James' transformation had a certain elegance to it, a fluidity to his stag's movement, Sirius became a hulking thing, bounding with unbridled energy. It was his puppy nature in full bloom, James always joked.

"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" Sirius asked James, referring to the Quidditch match they were set to play against Ravenclaw.

"Rum luck that it's happening right after the change," James muttered, as Madam Pince walked past them, guiding a stack of books with her wand and fixing them with an icy stare. "We're going to be exhausted, that's for sure."

"Still, I always think that we're a better team. You know their seeker, oh what's his name-"

"Alexander Finch," James offered.

"Yeah, him, you know he's new and if the weather stays like this, I doubt it'll be pretty. He's only a second year and he's tiny."

"Marlene shouldn't have a problem with him, true, but their beaters are strong this year, Pads."

"Are you doubting me, old boy?" Sirius asked with a grin.

"Never," James replied, matching his smirk.

"Good," Sirius said, standing and stretching, his shirt coming untucked from his trousers as he raised his arms above his head. "Now, can we please go and get some lunch? I might die if I don't eat."

"You're such a drama queen, Padfoot," James laughed.

"No, you don't understand, I haven't eaten anything since breakfast and I _actually might die_."

* * *

After lunch - Sirius had third helpings of mashed potatoes, plus two puddings, just to be safe - James returned to the library to finish a Potions essay he had been procrastinating on. With Remus still resting, and Peter nowhere to be found, Sirius made his way to the fourth floor, to the strange room that contained Hogwarts' collection of magical musical instruments. He was feeling uneasy about the upcoming foray into the forest for some reason, and wanted something to take his mind off it. Perhaps it was the weather, he thought.

He settled himself at the grand piano in the corner of the room, ignoring the moan of complaint from the piano stool - the irritable thing only did it to spite him, he thought. His fingers touched the keys, and soon enough the piano had matched his melody, playing the duet of its own accord.

"I didn't know you played piano," he heard a few minutes later from behind him, and he swivelled in his seat. Lily was standing in the doorway, smiling.

"Evans! Yes, it's one of the few good things I learnt in the Ancient and Noble House of Black."

"Your parents like music? That seems…"

"Unexpected?" he finished for her.

"Yeah."

"Doesn't it just? I think it's one of the few things they both actually like, as much as they are capable of liking things, so it distracts them from their otherwise rotting and fetid marriage."

Lily laughed, and pulled up a stool to sit next to Sirius. As she sat down, it screeched, and she jumped up with a look of terror on her face. Sirius burst out laughing.

"You've never been in here, have you? Ignore it, Evans, all the instruments and stools in here are fiercely foul mannered."

"Bloody hell," Lily muttered, and tentatively sat back down. Fortunately, this time, the stool only tutted quietly.

"There you go," Sirius smiled, "it's accepted you. This old boy," he pointed to the piano stool he sat on, "has taken years to accept me, and I still get a grumble every time I sit down. The double bass is the worst - it just screams _fuck_ at you when you pick it up - but the piano is utterly charming."

"Magic is truly remarkable sometimes," Lily giggled, looking round the room. "You're right, by the way, I've never been in here. Only found out it existed this year - no musical talent in me, so I suppose I never missed it."

"You can sing… sort of," Sirius offered.

"Generous, Sirius," Lily said ruefully. "Go on, play something for me."

"What would madam like?"

"Something cheerful - this weather is putting me in a funk."

Sirius lifted his fingers to the keys, and thought for a minute before beginning to play. It was a warm, rich tune, and he smiled at Lily's amazement when the piano added mellifluous bass notes to round out the song. He loved this piano, more than any other he'd played, loved the worn ivory keys and the chips in the black veneer. As he came to a close, Lily applauded.

"Gosh, Sirius, that was lovely! Do magical pianos always do that? The duet thing, I mean," she asked.

"Some of them do," he explained. "This old girl is a real charmer, she'll play with you any time. The one I learnt to play on at home less so - it would slam the lid shut on your fingers if you screwed up your scales." He stopped, realising what he'd said. "At my parents' house, I mean, not home."

Lily put a hand on his arm.

"Have you seen them, since you left?" she asked gently.

"Once," Sirius admitted. "It was over the summer, in Diagon Alley. I'd been to see my cousin - you know, Andromeda, the one who married the Muggleborn - and I ran into them as I was walking back to the Leaky Cauldron."

"How was it?"

"Fucking awful, really," Sirius replied, wrinkling his nose at the memory. "My dad walked right past me like I didn't exist, but my mother obviously couldn't pass up the opportunity to call me a blood traitor and tell me how perfect little Regulus was everything I'm not."

"Oh Sirius," Lily said softly, "I'm-"

"Don't," Sirius said, holding up a hand with a rueful smile. "I know you're going to say you're sorry, and I appreciate it, Lily, but I'm not sorry for leaving. Even when it's rough, I'm not sorry for it. Anyhow, I bumped into Rosmerta in the Leaky Cauldron and ended up spilling my sorry tale to her over far too many Firewhiskeys."

"Oh, so that's how you got the free drinks!" Lily exclaimed.

"Indeed - Rosmerta said that I deserved a little cheering up, and said to come by the Three Broomsticks any time I was feeling down about it. But," he said with mock seriousness, "you can't tell anyone that and ruin my reputation, Evans. Swear?"

"Cross my heart. Speaking of Rosmerta," Lily said, a slow grin across her face, "what was the deal with you in the pub the other day? Chatting about your perfect woman?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I like winding you all up," he said. "That's all."

"So it definitely wasn't about making a dig at a certain blonde beauty we both know and love? That you swapped saliva with in the common room and have been being way weird with ever since?"

Sirius swallowed, feeling Lily's eyes on him as he awkwardly looked away.

"Knew it," Lily said quietly. "Sirius Black, you've caught feelings."

"Lies," Sirius said, all too quickly. He could feel his heart pumping in his chest.

"Absolutely true, look at your face, it's a picture!" Lily said with a giggle. "Good God, Sirius Black with feelings, I never thought I'd see the day."

"Ev- Lily," he said, imploringly, "don't mention it it the others, please. I'm… I'm barely coming to terms with it, let alone having to explain to the people who think I'm a total cad that I do, in fact, have the propensity to feel."

"I won't tell a soul," Lily said firmly, "but you shouldn't underestimate how well the boys know you. Want to know what James said to me on patrol the other night about you?"

"You guys talk about me? Traitors!"

"Do you want to know or not, Sirius?"

"Yeah, go on then."

"Sirius needs someone who lets him know it's ok to let his guard down."

"Pardon?"

"That's what James said about you, the other night: _Sirius needs someone who lets him know it's ok to let his guard down._"

"Oh," Sirius said, scratching his chin. "Maybe I give him less credit than he deserves when it comes to being sensitive."

"Only problem is…" Lily began.

"I've ended up with feelings for someone who does commitment as well as I do," Sirius finished. "Hence, the problem."

"Bugger."

The pair sat in silence for a moment, before Sirius looked up at Lily.

"What?" she asked.

"I've spilled my feelings, it's you turn." He poked the knee that was closest to him. "You have feelings for James."

"Absolutely not!" Lily laughed so awkwardly, it sounded like something was gripping her vocal cords. Sirius raised and eyebrow, and she sighed.

"Fine, yes, ok," she admitted.

"KNEW IT," Sirius crowed, a little too loudly.

"Shh! It's just a passing crush, it's nothing," Lily blushed.

"False."

"Sirius!"

"For you to have a crush on James Fleamont Potter, Evans, some cosmic shift in the universe must have occurred and that is a big deal."

"Is his middle name really Fleamont?" Lily chuckled.

"Yup, his dad's name. Also not the point, stop avoiding the issue."

"If you tell James, I'll tell Marlene," Lily said darkly, and Sirius swallowed audibly.

"Alright, alright," he said finally. "I won't tell if you won't."

"Good."

"But," Sirius continued, "I think we should have a deal. James has liked you since he was eleven, and if you seriously think you have feelings for him, you should tell him."

"What part of that is a deal?" Lily asked, scowling.

"If you tell James, I'll tell Marlene," Sirius said, parroting her own words to her.

"_What?_" Lily asked incredulously.

"Because I want you and my best pal to be happy, obviously, I will tell the most commitment-phobic girl I know that, actually, I quite like her and would like her to get over her phobia and commit. To me. Another commitment-phobic. What could possibly go wrong?" He grimaced.

"You'd seriously do that to get me to tell James?"

"I'd do that _for_ James," Sirius corrected.

"Let me think on it, ok?" Lily asked.

"A week from today, we'll talk."

"Deal," Lily said, before standing and leaving the room.

* * *

Even for Sirius, the night's activities were unpleasant. The rain poured, practically bouncing back up off the floor of the Forbidden Forest. He was stopped in a small clearing, circling slowly as he caught his breath, alert to any sounds of the werewolf approaching. The shaggy black fur was drenched, stuck down under the pressure of the water, and he was panting hard.

He was desperately tired. They'd had a rough time of it, trying to keep Remus from entering Hogsmeade, drawing him off into the depths of the Forbidden Forest. He didn't usually want to enter the village, and typically was satisfied with chasing the others through the forest, but tonight had been different. Sirius was pretty certain that he'd pulled a muscle in the chase, where he'd taken his leap over a stream, landing a little off kilter. He'd lost James, and by extension, Peter, who was riding the stag's back tonight, in the frenetic pursuit.

He smelled the werewolf before he saw him. Grotesque, really, the smell, like sweat and mud and the unmistakable, metallic scent of blood. Sirius stopped his circling, and paused, one of his front paws held aloft as he tracked the scent, pinpointing the direction from which the werewolf was approaching. Soon enough, Sirius was ready to speed through the trees, the werewolf giving chase.

Off Sirius went again, pounding the ground back towards the Shrieking Shack. He could tell Remus was tiring, too, as the werewolf was nowhere near as close to the dog as he would have been at the start of the night. It felt like the greatest relief to see that magnificent stag in the clearing outside the shack, small rat upon its back, waiting for their return, and to note the lighter sky above them. As Remus approached, they entered the Shack, luring him in.

* * *

The boys had managed a couple of hours sleep, but it was not really enough to deal with the Ravenclaw match. The weather, of course, continued as it had for weeks - rain upon rain upon rain, so much that there was standing water on the Quidditch pitch. By half time, Ravenclaw were up by 100 points, and it wasn't looking pretty.

"Ok, look," James said, as the Gryffindor team huddled round him in the changing room at half time. "The weather is awful, I get that, and I know you're all exhausted from it, but we've got to keep pushing ahead. They're absolutely destroying us at the moment, and we need to stop them scoring any more so that Marlene can get the snitch."

"You need to watch their beaters," Marlene said to Sirius and Fabian Prewett, his fellow beater. "The big one - is his name Anderson? - he's really good, and there've been some near misses."

"Got it," Fabian responded, nodding. Sirius barely registered her comment, he was so tired. He was right in thinking he'd pulled a muscle the night before; his right hamstring ached deeply.

"Earth to Black? Hello?" Marlene waved a hand in front of Sirius' face, and he jerked his head back.

"Yes, yes, I heard you," he replied irritably.

Marlene looked at him, confusion on her face. There was an awkward silence in the huddle, as the team avoided eye contact with the usually-jovial Sirius. James coughed, then continued.

"Right, so Gideon, if you…"

Sirius cursed himself internally. He hadn't meant to be snappy. The weather, like James had said, was really playing havoc, and that deep tiredness in his very core was different to other times after the change. He'd do it all over again, of course he would - Remus was a Marauder, and you didn't let Marauders down - but this time it had taken a toll. He couldn't wait for a hot shower, a hell of a lot of food, and some rest.

It didn't help, of course, that Marlene was still looking at him, an expression on her face that he couldn't decipher from out the corner of his eye. Ever since his conversation with Lily, Sirius had been feeling uneasy about the situation. He'd tell her if Lily told James - he wasn't one to go back on his word, after all - but he was unsure how to deal with what felt like an inevitable rejection. It wasn't something he was used to, being turned down by girls; his reputation as a ladies' man wasn't entirely unfounded. But, this was different, this was _McKinnon_. She had the same kind of reputation with the guys, she threatened him physically, she flirted with pretty much any attractive guy, often in front of him.

Sure, he gave as good as he got. Marlene had walked in on him and a Ravenclaw girl at one of James' parties over the summer, after all. It had been… awkward. And then he'd kissed her, and from what he could remember, it had been incredible, and-

"So, let's do this," James finished, and Sirius realised he had missed the entire pep talk. Grabbing his broom, he followed his best friend out into the rain again, decidedly avoiding Marlene's eye.

* * *

It was not a pretty victory, in the end - Marlene caught the snitch, of course, but it left them only 10 points ahead. The Gryffindor team trudged to the showers, grateful to finally wash the mud and sweat from them. By the time Sirius was out of the shower, the changing room was empty; no doubt the others had headed straight back to the castle to avail themselves of hot chocolate and something to eat.

Sirius walked in his towel across the changing room, feeling significantly better for the shower. It had been a poor performance on his part, he felt - his brain felt addled from the night before, and the weather had made things significantly worse. Still, he thought, a win is a win.

"What the fuck were you playing at, Black?" Marlene said angrily. She was standing at the door, hand on her hip.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, sitting down on the bench and rubbing his hair with a towel.

"You literally sat there while Anderson's bludger nearly took me out, barely moving."

"What?" Sirius frowned. "When?"

"Like ten minutes before I got the snitch?" Marlene replied, her eyes flashing dangerously. "But, it's nice to know that you're paying so much attention to the safety of your team members, I must say."

It was a low blow. Sirius was usually the most diligent of beaters, and James often tasked him with shadowing Marlene in order to protect the seeker. The two of them spent hours perfecting their symbiotic technique, and the understanding on the pitch between them was envied by other players, not only within the Gryffindor team but also in other houses.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Sirius growled, "I didn't deliberately miss it. I'm sorry, ok? The visibility was awful and I just didn't get to it."

"Have I done something to piss you off, Black?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're being awfully shirty with me right now, you barely registered me at half time when I was literally speaking to you, and you spent half the match looking like you couldn't give two shits about whether massive Anderson was slamming bludgers my way," Marlene retorted.

"Do you know something, Marlene?" Sirius spat, and the use of her given name didn't go unnoticed. "Not everything is about you, ok? You are not the only person on this team, and you are not the only person that matters! Is there ever a point in your life where you don't think about yourself?"

Silence. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Sirius could feel a sting of regret among the anger. He didn't lash out at the girls - even when things were very desperate, like when he'd left home, he'd never really let the usual jovial exterior slip in front of anyone other than the Marauders. They forgave him, instantly, because that was the way it worked. He didn't get angry with the girls, not like this.

The look on Marlene's face said everything.

"Fuck you, Sirius," she whispered. Turning on her heel, she ran out of the room.


	4. Talk To Me

It had been weeks since they'd spoken. Despite their best efforts, neither the Marauders nor the girls had been able to extract from either Sirius or Marlene exactly what had transpired, let alone get them to reconcile. Any time it was brought up, Marlene simply sighed and offered an irritated _I don't want to talk about it, _while Sirius threatened to punch anyone in the face who mentioned the situation. In the end, their friends left it, ignoring as best they could the awkwardness at mealtimes when Marlene sat at one end of the group, and Sirius the other, both stewing furiously.

It did make him feel isolated, but Sirius would never admit that. He knew himself well enough to know the greatest chink in his armour was his stubborn pride; there was no way in hell he was admitting to his friends why he wasn't speaking to Marlene. That he'd fallen for her, then lashed out and called her self-absorbed over something as petty as a poor Quidditch performance. It was stupid, _so stupid_, and he knew that. He also knew the look on James' face if he told him about it, and the way Remus would roll his eyes and tell him the whole thing was ridiculous.

It _was_ ridiculous, Sirius knew that. He mulled angrily over it one afternoon, and made his way to the Astronomy Tower. He'd not been able to face the thought of going back to the common room in Gryffindor Tower with everyone, only to sit silently at one end of the sofa in fury. Equally, the thought of another afternoon in the library filled him with dread; he'd been escaping there regularly of late. _At least my grades are improving_, he thought bitterly.

Where October had been a month of perpetual dampness, November had brought with it crisp frosts, bitter winds, and those deceptive autumn days where the sun shone bright, but cheeks and ears went bright red in the cold. From his position in the Astronomy Tower, Sirius could see the mountains rising over Hogsmeade, their caps snowy white in the distance. They'd get snow soon enough, as the days grew shorter. He loved this time in the term - Quidditch practices in the early mornings, his breath hanging like steam in the air in front of him, and evenings stretched out by the fire in the common room with his friends.

Of course, that wasn't happening much at the moment. His generous spirit meant he didn't blame his friends for finding him difficult company at the moment - he'd been foul since the fight, he could admit. But, his stubbornness also refused to allow even countenancing the idea of backing down. He felt like he always got the short straw in that regard, always had the worst assumed of him, always met with a roll of the eyes and an utterance that _of course Sirius did something._

He angrily kicked the stone wall of the tower, hands shoved into his pockets.

"You're not going to win that fight, you know."

He stopped, looking up. _Speak of the devil, and she shall appear, _he thought, as he looked at Marlene leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest.

"What are you doing here?" he asked brusquely, turning his back to her and walking back to the window.

"James said you were here. I thought… I thought we should talk."

_The map_, he cursed, _the damn map._

"I don't think we've got much to talk about, do you?" he said coldly, throwing the remark over his shoulder.

"Sirius."

She never used his first name. He was always Black, and she was always McKinnon; they were never _Sirius and Marlene_. It had been that way since they first became friends, when they'd ended up in detention together with McGonagall. James and Sirius had been there for setting fireworks off in the girls' bathroom near Professor Flitwick's office; she'd been there for getting bored in Transfiguration and turning Edgar Bones' wand into a centipede.

She walked behind him now, and Sirius felt her put a hand against his arm.

"Talk to me, you stubborn bastard," she said affectionately, "I know you hate this as much as I do."

Sirius sighed. It was what he'd wanted - her to be the first to approach him about it, not the other way round. Now it had happened, of course, he realised he was just as much in the wrong.

"Ok," he said, turning and pointing to the stone bench against the wall. They sat, Sirius leaning forward on his knees, looking at his shoes. Her knees were angled in toward him, and her hand had returned to his arm. He couldn't concentrate, the blood rushing in his ears. _Get a grip, Black_, he thought.

"I'm sorry," Marlene began, but Sirius shook his head.

"No, no, don't. It's me that should be apologising. I shouldn't have called you self-centred, that wasn't fair."

"Wasn't fair for me to say you deliberately missed Anderson's bludger, either."

"You know I'd never do that, right?" he asked, finally looking up at her. "I'd never put you in danger."

"I know," she said simply. "Like I said, wasn't fair."

"I had… things going on, and I guess it took my head out the game. But, I really am sorry for what I said. It was stupid to get angry about it instead of just talking to you about it."

"Guess that makes two of us, then."

They held each other's gaze for a moment, those clear blue eyes meeting dark brown, framed my long lashes. Sirius felt like his breath wasn't filling his lungs properly, lightheaded just from the sight of her. _I could just tell her, _he thought, _I could just tell her right now and get it over with._

Just for a moment, it looked like there was something on her mind, too. It looked like she might be on the cusp of saying something, something important. Then, whatever _it_ was was gone, and she just smiled.

"C'mon," she said, standing and offering a hand to pull him to his feet. He rose, and she nodded towards the door. "James got some hot chocolate from the kitchens, and we were going to deal a game of Exploding Snap. Slughorn's out with the flu, so no Potions this afternoon."

"Did you come here to make up so you had someone to be your partner?" Sirius joked. She laughed, and Sirius felt his heart swell at the sound. What was it James had said about Lily? _I'd rather have her as a friend than not at all. _

"Absolutely," she quipped back. "Who else is going to help me beat Lupin and Potter?"

"Lead the way, McKinnon," he grinned.

* * *

"Thank God they've gotten over themselves, hey?" Lily said, as she and James exited the Gryffindor common room some hours later to begin their evening patrol. Sirius and Marlene had returned from the Astronomy Tower as thick as thieves, much to everyone's bemusement, and proceeded to roundly beat everyone else at snap.

"Completely," James replied. "I was getting to the point where I was thinking of locking them in a room to duke it out."

"Well, that's a euphemism I've not heard before…"

"Lily Evans!" James exclaimed, eyes twinkling as he grinned at her. "Never thought I'd see the day you made a sex joke."

"Oh, please," she rolled her eyes, "I'm not a total prude."

"If you say so," he replied. "Still weird that they won't tell anyone why they were fighting, though."

"About that…" Lily began, and then faltered.

"What?" James frowned down at her. _He really is handsome_, she thought, looking back at him. _Handsome in a dishevelled, rich kid kind of way. _

"You swear not to tell anyone this?" she asked. James nodded. "No, seriously, James, not a soul. And you're not allowed to bring it up to Sirius."

"I promise," he replied, still confused.

"I think it's because he's fallen for her."

"What?" James stopped in the corridor. "Who's fallen for who?"

"Sirius. Fallen for Marlene." "Sirius Black has fallen for Marlene?" James said loudly, and Lily hushed him, shoving him towards an alcove where there was some semblance of privacy.

"Don't shout it for the whole castle to hear! Look," she said, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, resigning herself to breaking Sirius' confidence. What with the fight with Marlene, they hadn't had the chance yet to discuss his music room suggestion. _It's for his good, _she thought. "I don't just think he likes her. I… I know he does, because he told me."

"Since when have you and Padfoot been having heart-to-hearts?" James frowned.

"I ran into him in the music room, unimportant," Lily said, waving a hand. "I guessed, essentially. After they kissed and we all went to Hogsmeade, he'd been weird around her."

"Jesus," James said, shocked.

"He made me promise not to say anything, so you really have to keep this a secret."

"So why are you telling me?" James asked slowly, a slight frown on his face. Marauders didn't break each other's confidences, ever, and he didn't like the idea of Lily sharing Sirius' confession without his permission, even if it was huge news.

"Because," Lily said, "I think she likes him too. She admitted that he'd got under her skin a bit, after the kiss, but I think it's more than that."

James raised his eyebrows and let out a low whistle.

"Well, bloody hell, Evans," he said, leaning back against the windowsill and shoving his hands into his pockets. "That's some news."

"What's more," Lily continued, her eyes glistening with excitement, "I think I've got a plan for how we can make them stop being such total idiots and get together."

"Go on."

"We need to patrol," she said, gesturing toward the stairs. "Come on, I'll tell you en route."

* * *

Things were finally back to normal, almost as though the fight between Sirius and Marlene had never happened. Frankly, both the Marauders and the girls were thrilled, regardless of the fact that neither of them were any more willing to explain the fight than they had previously. Still, they were speaking again, and that was good enough, because it meant mealtimes and class and trips to Hogsmeade were no longer intensely uncomfortable games of diplomacy. Sirius, of course, was no closer to telling Marlene how he felt, and had steadfastly been avoiding any opportunity to spend time with Lily alone, in case she brought up his suggestion from weeks earlier in the music room.

On a Tuesday evening, a couple of weeks after the friendship had been patched, Sirius and James were walking in through the main doors to the castle. They'd got distracted at Quidditch practice, after the rest of the team had already left, perfecting a set move for their next match against Slytherin after the Christmas holidays. Having missed supper, they made their way back to the castle after showering, snow falling in gentle flakes in the night air, and were now headed towards the kitchens to see if the house elves would whip up something.

As they descended the first flight of stairs toward the kitchens, the boys rounded a corner to be confronted with a group of Slytherins, huddled round each other and whispering. Sirius could see Snape at the centre, gesticulating.

"Uh-oh," James said quietly, as they approached the group."

"Potter and Black," Snape said, lip curling at he noticed them.

"The blood traitors," Avery added.

"God, what a line, eh James?" Sirius said, feigning a yawn.

"An absolute burn," James replied lazily, pretending to check the cuffs of his robes for fraying.

"Bet you're disappointed, Potter, that you've got Black out with you tonight," Rodolphus Lestrange called mockingly, "when you could be with the muggleborn. Isn't that the sort of thing you blood traitors are into?"

"Ah yes, a shame you're not accompanied by our Mudblood Head Girl," Snape said softly. Bile rose in Sirius' chest at the sound of Snape referring to Lily that way.

"What did you just call her?" James snapped. "Say that again, go on."

"I called her a mudblood,"

"Thought I'd told you before to watch that filthy mouth of yours, Snape," James spat, and reached for his wand. "Guess I'll tell you again."

"Is that a threat, Potter?" Snape barked, drawing his own wand.

"A reminder, _Severus_."

The two boys began to circle slowly, eyes and wands fixed on each other. Sirius had reached for his wand, too, watching the situation unfold, his eyes darting from James to Snape and back again. He noticed some of the Slytherins at the back of the group slink off, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire. There was no doubt that James Potter and Severus Snape were equally matched in duelling, probably the best in the school.

"I suppose Black is your second?" Snape snarled.

"I am," Sirius said, appearing at James' side. "You?"

"Dolohov," Snape replied, eyes still fixed on James'. Sirius smirked - the Slytherin Snape had chosen was good, sure, but nowhere near as good as him.

"Three," Sirius began to count down, "two-"

Ahead of the final mark, Snape shot out a curse. James blocked it adeptly, the white light dissipating into the air as his shield spell shot out of his wand, before returning one of his own.

"Oi," Sirius spat, as Snape smirked, "fight fair, you total prick."

"Careful, Black," Snape sneered, continuing to block James' spells and return them with vigour, "this isn't your fight until I'm done with Potter. If you're not careful, you'll have to deal with Dolohov here."

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but no words had a chance to come out before Dolohov's spell hit him in the stomach, pushing him back to the floor. He was winded for a minute, dazed from where his head had landed hard. He reached for his wand, aiming it at a laughing Dolohov, before-

"Enough!"

A thunderous voice echoed down the corridor, and drew Sirius from his momentary haze of pain. With his robes swirling around him, Albus Dumbledore strode towards the group of students, and Sirius had never seen him look angry like that, eyes hard and glinting. Rage seemed to emanate from every pore, filling the whole corridor, making everyone of them seem tiny and insignificant.

"Fifty points from Slytherin," Dumbledore snapped, and Snape seemed to shrivel under the wizard's gaze. "And fifty points from Gryffindor."

"Professor Dumbledore, he-" Sirius began, scrambling to his feet, but was silenced by a look from the headmaster.

"If you are not in need of Madam Pomfrey's aid, return to Gryffindor Tower, Mr Black. Members of Slytherin house will also return to their dormitories. Mr Potter, you will come with me."

Sirius and James exchanged a look, before doing as the headmaster said, and the corridor emptied as the Slytherins returned to their dungeon. Slowly, his head aching, Sirius made his way back to Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

"What happened to you?"

Sirius stumbled through the portrait hole to a relatively empty common room. Marlene and Lily sat by the fire, mugs in hand, looking at him like he'd just been pulled from the grips of the Giant Squid.

"Seriously, Black, what happened?" Marlene asked, concern on her face. "You look awful."

"James… James and I ran into a group of Slytherins. We missed supper, wanted to get something from the kitchens. Snape said some stuff, called Lily…" he trailed off, and understanding showed on both the girls' faces. "Well, he said some shit he shouldn't have, and James duelled him."

"Oh my God," Marlene put a hand to her mouth. "And James? Is he alright?"

"Where is he now?" Lily asked, panic in her voice.

"Dumbledore's office," Sirius replied.

Lily jumped up, and ran for the portrait hole. Sirius watched her go, before walking across the room. He slumped down beside Marlene, his head bouncing onto the back of the sofa, and winced at the pressure on the back of his head where he'd hit it against the ground, lifting a hand to it as stars of pain appeared in his eyes.

"Here," Marlene said softly, "let me see."

Sirius leant his head forward, and felt her nimble fingers smooth over the tenderness.

"You've got a wretched lump here, but no blood. What did they hit you with?" she asked.

"Dolohov hit me with something, I don't know what, and I fell on the flags."

"You're lucky he didn't knock you out."

"Yeah," Sirius replied quietly, staring into the fire. The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, before Marlene spoke again.

"Penny for your thoughts, Sirius?"

_There she goes again with the proper name_, he thought.

"I just…" he sighed. "I guess we spend so much time talking about fighting once we've left school, that I forget we're probably going to be fighting people who are here at Hogwarts with us. You know the Slytherin group - Snape, Avery, Dolohov, Lestrange," he said, running through the list. "My cousin, for God's sake. My brother."

Marlene leant against the arm of the sofa, and put a cushion on her lap. She patted it, and indicated for him to rest his head there. It was an intimate gesture, but as he did it, it felt… _right_. He lay on his side, gazing into the fire once more, and as she rested one hand on her knee in front of him, he took it in his own.

"You know you're not responsible for your family," she said gently. "Your parents, your cousins, your brother-"

"I know," Sirius said quietly, "but I sometimes think maybe I should have been better to him, when we were kids. Maybe he wouldn't have turned out the way he is now."

"And if you'd done that, maybe you wouldn't be the way you are now," she pointed out. "Trust me, when I say that our side is lucky to have you."

"You think so?" he asked.

"I know so," she replied, squeezing his hand for good measure.

* * *

"This reflects incredibly poorly, James," Dumbledore said. He was settled behind his desk, staring sternly over his half-moon spectacles at the boy standing in front of him. "There are consequences to the choices you made tonight, especially as Head Boy."

"I know you're probably going to take away my badge, or expel me or something, but-"

"James, you cannot whip your wand out at every opportunity!"

"Sir," James breathed, "he called her a mudblood."

"Who did?" Dumbledore asked, stilling in his chair.

"Snape. He called Lily a mudblood."

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm not going to strip you of your badge, James, nor am I going to expel you," Dumbledore sighed. "However, as much as I admire your gallantry in coming to Miss Evans' defence, you cannot duel with fellow students in the corridor. The point deduction remains in place."

Before James could answer, the door burst open and in flew one Lily Evans, red in the face and panting.

"Sir!" She exclaimed, breathlessly. "Sir, please don't demote James or kick him out, the Slyth-"

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore interrupted, the corners of his mouth twitching ever so slightly, "there is no need to be concerned. Mr Potter will be remaining in his position as Head Boy, and at Hogwarts."

"Oh, thank goodness," Lily sighed heavily.

"I am naturally impressed by the speed at which news travels round the castle, of course," he continued, and James grinned.

"Some things can always be relied upon, Professor."

"Return to Gryffindor Tower," Dumbledore said, picking up a quill and not even trying to hide his amusement. "And please, don't get in anymore trouble on your way back there."

James and Lily shared a brief look, but didn't need telling twice. James knew full well the consequences of duelling with a group of Slytherins in the corridor could have been a hell of a lot more serious than being docked some points.

"How did you know I was there?" James asked, once they had left Dumbledore's office.

"Sirius came back to the common room and told Marlene and I. What were you _thinking_?"

"Snape and the other Slytherins were saying filthy things about you again, I had to do something."

"You didn't have to do that, James!" Lily chided gently.

"He called you a mudblood," James responded bluntly. "Of course I did."

"No, you didn't!"

Suddenly, overcome with feeling, James pushed her up against the tapestried wall and kissed her like his life depended on it. It was the moment he'd thought about since they first joined Hogwarts, the same thought that had kept him awake at night, burning with lust. The same thought that had stopped him from ever really thinking of another girl, that had stopped his heart from breaking over and over again when she rejected him.

The reality of kissing Lily Evans didn't disappoint. Her lips were soft under his, supple as he kissed her hard and passionately. His heart rate was surging as he did so. He ran his hands up and down her sides, squeezing her small waist. Incredibly, instead of shoving him away and hexing him immediately, she wrapped her arms around his neck, running her small hands through his messy hair and pulling him closer. Her tongue vied with his, and she bit down on his bottom lip.

They broke apart, and James rested his forehead against hers, bodies pressed together and drinking in her bottle green eyes. They stayed silence for a moment, breathing hard. Then-

"Yes," he whispered, "I did."


	5. God, I Love That Elf

"I know I've said it already, but you should have told me, you know," James said, nipping at Lily's neck. It was a week before the Christmas holidays, and they were hidden away in a locked broom cupboard on the third floor, as they'd been wont to do regularly since the kiss outside of Dumbledore's office in November. Lily was perched awkwardly on a cabinet, with James standing between her legs; her shirt was rucked up at the back, untucked from James running his hands across the soft skin, and her lips were red and swollen from where they'd been kissing furiously.

"Told you what?"

"That you didn't think I was a total cad after all."

"Well, I was keeping you on your toes, wasn't I?"

James huffed into her neck, and Lily laughed at the sensation.

"No more games then, Evans," he said, straightening up. Lily looped her arms round the back of his neck, looking at him expectantly. "Are you all in, or not?"

"Is that you asking me to be your girlfriend, because that might very well be the _worst_ proposition I've ever heard," she teased. "Then again, I might deserve the worst."

"What do you mean?"

"Because I spent five years being a cow to you?"

"Well," James shrugged, "there were times when I needed it, I suppose. You're not allowed to tell the others that, though," he grinned.

"Never thought I'd see the day you admitted that!"

"Alright, alright! But yes," James said, suddenly serious again. "That is me asking you to be my girlfriend."

Lily was silent for a moment, a sad look on her face.

"Is that you saying no, or…?" James tried to hide the disappointment on his face.

"No, no!" she said quickly. "It's not me saying no."

"Then what's up, buttercup?" James asked, running his forefinger under her chin.

"Well…" Lily paused. "You and I both know what's out there after we leave Hogwarts. I know there's no way you're not going to fight, and they already think you're a… a _blood traitor._" The words felt awful in her mouth as she said them.

"Well, yeah," James snorted. "You know my family has never been included in that stupid Sacred 28 book like Sirius' has. We're pureblood and we're still blood traitors," he said mockingly.

"Don't you think having a Muggleborn girlfriend is going to make you even more of a target?" Lily spoke so quietly, James had barely heard her.

"I literally don't care," he said bluntly.

"James-"

"No, _I literally don't care_. I've never lived my life to please those awful, wretched people, and I'm not going to start now."

"If it would be better to wait, I don't mind waiting, I-"

James laughed.

"I waited six years for you," he said, in that carefree, confident way that was purely _James_. "If you think I'm going to let even Voldemort get in the way now, you're not as smart as you think, Lily Evans."

"You sure? It's a difficult decision." Lily gnawed on her lip, waiting for his answer.

"Easiest decision in the world, actually," he replied, kissing her forehead gently.

There had never been anything easier for Lily either, as it turned out. The night they'd first kissed, they'd stood there in the dark corridor for a long while, arms wrapped round each other. She'd studied his face - clear, grey eyes that sparkled with mischief; aquiline nose and high cheekbones; dark hair that had never, in all the years she'd known him, behaved itself. She'd run her fingers along his strong jaw, stubble showing, and down to his Adam's apple, and James had slipped his eyes closed at the sensation. It was remarkable, really, how _right_ it felt, how easy it was to stand there in the arms of _James Potter_, of all people, and to walk back to Gryffindor Tower with her hand clasped in his. Yet, here she was - nearly a month later, still with her arms wrapped around James Potter and giddy at the thought of him wanting her.

"You know what we do need to do, though," James said, pulling Lily back to the present.

"What?"

"_Finally_ get Padfoot and Marlene to stop messing about."

"Yes!" Lily said excitedly. "You still think our plan is going to work?"

"Sure," James said confidently. "New Year, a bit of booze and a good game of truth-or-dare. When one of them picks dare, we'll say they have to kiss the person they like."

"What if one of them chooses someone else?"

"Well, I know for a fact Sirius won't. He's not picking Mary, obviously, because of Reg. He won't pick Emmeline Vance, because of Remus," James listed. "Not going to pick you because- well, because I'd kill him," he added with a twinkle in his eye.

"Dorcas?" Lily asked.

"Nah, don't think so, it'd just start rumours and he's not going to do that. No offence to Dorcas, obviously. Amelia Bones is supposed to be coming, but they've hooked up before and-"

"He'll not want to fan any fires there, will he?" Lily added.

"Exactly," James nodded. "I mean, yeah, there are other girls going to be around, but he doesn't really know most of them. All his old flames were older, anyway."

"Didn't he kiss Aoife once?"

"Oh yeah," James laughed, "forgot about that. Talk about a literal old flame! She was holding her wand and set his shoelaces on fire, remember?"

"God, that girl is a total liability," Lily grinned.

"Sirius is pretty sorted out," James said, "so your mission, Miss Evans, is to work on our dear friend Marlene. Sow some seeds, you know the drill."

"Yes, sir." Lily mock saluted, and James raised his eyebrows, pulling her a little closer.

"You can call me that more often, if you like," he said, sucking on her neck again.

"Behave," she said, using every iota of willpower to push him away, "and stop giving me lovebites, I can barely cover up the ones I've got already." She hopped down off the cabinet, and straightened herself out, running a hand through her long red hair.

"You look great," James said.

"Not so bad yourself, Potter," she replied, and pecked him on the lips. "Got to run, I said I'd help Mary with her Potions essay."

With that, she winked at him, unlocked the door, and left the broom cupboard.

* * *

Sirius burrowed a little further under the soft, eiderdown duvet that was wrapped round him, and enjoyed that warm sensation of awakening slowly. Stretching out, he allowed himself a couple of minutes to lie there, still in the fog of sleep, before opening his eyes. He looked at the calendar on the wall, and realised the day - December 25th. _Christmas._

Arriving home to the Potters' crumbling pile had been bliss. Fleamont, James' father, who insisted on Sirius calling him Uncle Monty, had been enchanting candles to sit among the dense ivy that covered the house, so that it twinkled and shone among the snow when they apparated into the driveway. The first night they'd been back, they'd gorged on roast beef, with hedgerow crumble for dessert, accompanied with plenty of elf-made wine. In the afterglow of the meal, they'd gathered around a huge tree in the hall, and decorated it. Sirius had always had a talent for Charms, and managed to enchant a set of Nutcracker ornaments, so that the soldiers marched in place on the branches, and the ballerinas pirouetted gracefully.

After nightcaps, Sirius had climbed the stairs to the room across the attic landing from James' where he'd stayed in ever since he left his family's house - _his room_, as James had reminded him a little anxiously. Euphemia, James' mother, had decorated a little for Christmas, enchanting paper snowflakes to hover in the window, and winding greenery around the mantlepiece with little lights. She'd hung some photos of him and James on the wall, and there'd been a new blanket spread over the bed with the crest of the Wimbourne Wasps on it - his favourite Quidditch team. Seeing it had made his chest swell with emotion when he and James had returned from Hogwarts; he'd never mentioned it to Euphemia, and realised that his best friend had to have written home in advance to advise his mother.

All his life he'd wanted a family like James'. Growing up at 12, Grimauld Place had been wretched, to put it mildly. His parents loathed each other; a raging argument between Orion and Walburga was par for the course when in the Black household. If anything, they were the prime example as to why Wizarding families shouldn't marry into each other - sharing a great-grandfather meant they were _definitely _too closely related, in Sirius' opinion. He'd had often thought it was an absolute miracle he and Regulus had been born as normal as they were. _Well, _he thought, _relatively normal. _

Even so, days like Christmas were when he missed them most. Regulus didn't speak to him when they were at Hogwarts; he was already caught up with the Baby Death Eaters, as Marlene called them. Not that they had been close when Sirius _had_ been at home, mind you, but Regulus was a constant reminder that things could have been different. Sirius was glad they weren't - he was glad for who he was, for the friends he'd made, for the roads he had chosen. Still, there was a sting to it, that he couldn't be around the huge ebony table in that foul dining room, surrounded by the Black family tree, and no doubt squashed in between little Bellatrix and her aloof sister, Narcissa, opposite from Regulus. Maybe the sting wasn't from wishing circumstances were different. No, maybe it was from wishing _they_ were different.

"Merry Christmas, Padfoot!"

James barrelled into the room and launched himself onto the end of Sirius' bed, throwing a wrapped parcel at Sirius' head. He caught it, laughing.

"Merry Christmas, Jem, even if you are trying to kill me."

"Go on, open it," James instructed. "The first thing's from all three of us."

Sirius ripped off the brown wrapping paper to reveal the gifts his best friend had given. The first was, what seemed to Sirius, a slightly tatty leather notebook. He opened it, somewhat confused, before the inside took his breath away.

As he opened the first page, messy handwriting that he knew only too well spelt out _Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs present to you the Marauders' Chronicles. _He flipped from page to page, realising what it was. Photographs had been glued in on each lefthand page, accompanied by magical captions, documenting their time at Hogwarts. On the right, careful drawings - he knew Remus' handiwork when he saw it - brought whole tales to life: the moment the four of them met on the train, the time they'd discovered the secret passage to Honeydukes cellar, the evening when they'd covered Mrs. Norris in magical feathers that multiplied when Filch tried to take them off, and of course - the day they'd become Animagi. Every page made him chuckle, remembering fondly the memories.

"We thought about giving it to your birthday," James admitted, "but it wasn't done by then."

"This is incredible," Sirius replied, finding it difficult to hold back his emotions. "I… I don't know what to say, thank you so much."

"Don't be soppy, you big melt," James teased, punching Sirius on the arm. "Look at the other thing, that one's just from me."

The second item was a bottle, slightly dusty and with a faded label. Sirius squinted at it, just about deciphering the words _Puddlemere Distillery. _Recognising it immediately, Sirius looked at his best friend, face lighting up.

"Are you serious?! Is this an 1802 firewhiskey, or are you pranking me?"

"It's not a prank," James said, rolling his eyes. "Even I'm not that much of a dick."

Sirius grinned.

"Thanks, Prongs!" He reached down to the bedside cabinet, pulling a wrapped present from behind it. "Sorry about the shit wrapping, you know I'm terrible."

"Never seen much point in it, to be honest," James admitted, "seeing as you're just going to tear it off anyway."

James did just that, and revealed a pair of glistening maroon Quidditch gloves.

"Are these…" James trailed off as he pulled them on, marvelling at their suppleness and fit. "Pads, are these dragon hide?"

"Baby dragon hide, no less."

"How did you get a pair?!" James asked incredulously. He'd been lusting after some dragon hide gloves ever since they'd gone to the Quidditch World Cup and seen Ludo Bagman, playing for England, sporting some.

"I know a guy," Sirius shrugged, pleased at how much his best friend liked the gift. Truth be told, it had taken him nearly eight months to track them down, and had thought seriously about waiting until James' birthday in March to give them to him. He'd ended up cornering one of his second cousins in Nocturn Alley and parting with a hefty weight of gold.

"You're amazing, cheers, Pads!" James grinned.

"Do you smell bacon?" Sirius said suddenly, and James laughed.

"Honestly, all you think about is food. C'mon, I guess Mum's started breakfast."

* * *

"Alright, I think we're set," James said, scanning the hall. It was a week later, New Year's Eve, and they were preparing for the party hosted every year at the Potters'. His parents had left the night before, apparating to Godric's Hollow to spend the New Year at the family cottage with their best friends. Conversely, Remus and Peter had arrived that morning. They had exchanged gifts over coffee and cake prepared by the Potters' house elf, Hempy - Remus bought both James and Sirius an elegant new quill set, and Peter presented hampers from Honeydukes - after which they had raced to the garden for a pick-up game of Quidditch. Now, as the afternoon drew on, they were arranging the house for the festivities.

"Booze in the kitchen, right?" Sirius asked, as he emerged from the doorway that led down to the cellar, guiding a crate of drinks in front of him with his wand.

"Yeah, perfect," James said. He felt a pull at his trouser leg, and saw Hempy looking up at him. They'd offered her clothes countless times, and she stubbornly refused them, insisting that she belonged with Mistress Potter, _thank yous very muchs_, and she wasn't going anywhere. Instead, she wore a clean pillowcase every day, something that his mother washed and mended by hand, much to Hempy's disgruntlement.

James knelt down to eye level with the elf.

"What is it, Hempy, old girl?" he asked.

"The foods is prepareds, Master James," Hempy said squeakily, "and all laids outs. Is there anything else you needs?"

"No, I think we're good. Where are you off to tonight, Hempster? I know you elves like to have a bash on New Year."

"Well," Hempy said, blushing.

"Go on, tell me," James grinned.

"All the elves, Master James, has been invited to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," she said, lowering her tone to an awed whisper, "by Professor Dumbledores himselfs."

"Well, best not be late then, old girl. Go on, have a good time!" James hugged the little elf, before straightening up. She beamed at him, waved, and disapparated. _Dumbledore would invite the elves for a party_, James thought. _What a guy. _

"God I love that elf," he muttered to no one in particular, and wandered into the kitchen.

Hempy really had out done herself. Mounds upon mounds of food sat on the kitchen table - tarts and pies of every description, great tureens of stew and soup, all kept warm by that house elf magic wizards were yet to really understand. Just at the front, James could see his favourite sausage rolls, piles of sandwiches, a huge chocolate gateau, and a large plate of what looked like tiny meringues with strawberries perched atop them.

"Your elf is a thousand times better than ours," Sirius said, from where he was standing at the kitchen counter, arranging bottles and goblets on the side. "Kreacher is literally the foulest thing."

"I'd be foul too," James chided, "if I were house elf to your family."

"Good point," Sirius chuckled. "I think we're all good here, Prongs." He gestured to the bottles on the side. "If we need any more, your dad's set aside a whole four more crates down in the cellar, the absolute legend."

"What can I say? Monty loves a party," James responded.

"On that note," Sirius said, checking his watch. "We had better get ready."

Sirius chucked a bottle of butterbeer at James, who caught it deftly.

"What's this for?"

"Drinking in the shower, _obviously_," Sirius replied.


	6. That's My Girl

Sirius was, to be quite honest, absolutely shitfaced.

He'd necked his butterbeer in the shower, and had at least three more before the guests started to arrive. Then, there was Hempy's famous punch - he had no idea how many glasses of that he'd had - and then shots, and then more beer, and then he and the Marauders had taken a quiet twenty minutes to open the firewhiskey James gave him for Christmas. He was now on the elf-made wine, eschewing a goblet in favour of supping the rich liquid straight from the bottle, clutching it by the neck.

The hall was crowded, and loud as hell. Music blared - Sirius thought it was the new Pink Thestral album, but he couldn't hear the record for the ringing in his ears. He wandered the edge of the heaving dancefloor, a great mass of gyrating, sweaty bodies. He had no idea where his friends had gone, and sought them in the rooms that spanned off the main hall, with its huge staircase, giant Christmas tree, and vaulted ceiling.

The first was the dining room. Someone had set up a drinking game on the mahogany dining table, and it was surrounded by Hogwarts students, some he recognised and others he didn't. Usually he loved Quidcup, which involved bouncing miniature Quaffles through enchanted hoops and into the opposing team's drinks. From his position in the doorway, he caught the eye of flame-haired Amelia Bones across the table. She held his gaze, before smiling slightly, and winking at him. Another year, he'd have walked over, and squeezed into the crowd next to her, complimenting her on the green dress she was wearing. The game would end, and he'd suggest they make a team for the next round, getting progressively drunker together as the night wore on. Then, one thing would lead to another, and they'd slip away together upstairs, and…

_Not tonight_. No, tonight he wasn't in the mood - or at least, not in the mood for _Amelia's _company. He smiled charmingly, but turned on his heel and left. He squeezed past an animated Fabian Prewett, talking with Benjy Fenwick about the Chudley Cannons' rare win the weekend before, and checked the drawing room. He walked into the dimly-lit room, before walking immediately out again - he did _not_ want to know what Alice Collins had been doing to Frank Longbottom.

That left the library, and the kitchen. He did pause for a moment to talk to Amadeus Wilkie, an old Gryffindor who had left school the year previously, before he opened the door to the library. Adjusting to the dimness, he thought the book-lined room was empty. Then, he spotted her sitting in a loveseat by the roaring fire.

_Her._

She looked fucking fantastic. In the half light, the pattern of the fire flickered in shadow and light across her face. She'd left her hair down, not half-pinned like she did usually, and her blonde curls glistened like gold. She wore a black jumpsuit, her legs looking like they went on for miles. The top was a halter, showing off her shoulders and décolletage. He was practically salivating.

"Hey, Black," she said, looking up at him.

"McKinnon!" he replied, a little too loudly, and threw himself into the seat next to her. "Why're you on your own?"

"Needed a bit of space," she said. "The music was getting to me. You know when you drink and it doesn't make you _fun_?"

"Yup." Sirius rested the bottle of wine on his knee. "How was your Christmas?"

"It was nice, actually! My siblings were all home - my sister, you know, Annie? - she just had a baby, so it was great to meet him."

"Cute, what's he called?"

"Phineas," Marlene said, making a face, "which I think is _heinous_, but it's a family name on his dad's side. They're all Fawleys. And to be honest, he's so adorable that you can ignore the dreadful name. He's got that peaches-and-cream look."

Sirius hadn't ever thought of Marlene as someone who liked babies. She'd always seemed too… brusque for that. _Then again_, he thought, _people always thought that about him._

"Phineas Fawley," Sirius said, working the syllables around his mouth.

"Awful, right?"

"Not great," he replied.

"How about yours?" she asked. "Christmas, I mean."

"Fantastic, Uncle Monty and Aunt Phe were great, as per usual."

"You call them aunt and uncle?"

"Uh-huh, they make me. Think they'd make me call them Mum and Dad if they thought I'd do it."

"They really are like family to you, aren't they?" Marlene asked.

"Well, sometimes it's nice to pretend," Sirius replied, and took a swig of wine. She didn't say anything to that, and he looked down. Her hand was resting on her knee, where her legs were crossed. She had such dinky little hands, he thought, so different to the great paws he had. He was many things, but delicate was not one of them; not slender like Remus, or elegant like James, or short like Peter. Without thinking, he reached out and took her hand in his, pressing her palm against his upturned one. He looked at how her fingertips barely reached the second knuckle on his hand, revelled in the softness of her skin as he laced her fingers with his own.

_God, _he thought, _it's the skin all over again. Think about her boobs or something, Sirius._

"What are you doing, Black?" Marlene chuckled.

Sirius shrugged.

"Dunno. Liked holding your hand that time. Want me to stop?"

"No," she replied, "you're good."

"Good," Sirius repeated.

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Maybe a lil bit," he said. "You?"

"Getting there," she replied, lifting a bottle of cheap firewhiskey and shaking it.

"That," he said with force, "is shit. Here, have some of mine."

He handed her the bottle of wine, watching as she brought it to her lips. She drank slowly, and when she was done, she licked the wine from her lips swiftly.

_Christ. I could just tell her_, he thought. _I could just tell her how beautiful she looks tonight, how much I want her_.

"Hey, Padfoot!"

Both Marlene and Sirius jumped. James walked into the room, followed by Lily, Remus, and Peter.

"We've been looking for you!" he said. "The girls are just in the bathroom, but we thought we'd play a game of truth-or-dare."

"Sounds good," Sirius replied thickly.

"Marlene, you wanna play?" James asked.

"Sure, Potter," she replied, voice confident.

"Are you two holding hands?" Remus asked, a bemused look on his face, as he threw himself onto the rug by the hearth.

"Cold hands," Marlene said cooly, but made no move to extract hers from Sirius'.

"As you were, then," Remus replied, toasting them with his bottle.

"Sorry!" Mary called, rushing into the room and dragging Dorcas by the hand. "Got distracted. But! We brought Alice and Frank and Amelia to make up the numbers." James and Lily shared a look - _hopefully Amelia wasn't going to complicate things_, James thought.

Soon the group was settled comfortably. Frank had taken an armchair, Alice perched on the arm of it, her feet resting in his lap. Mary, Lily, Dorcas and Amelia were squeezed onto the sofa, with James and Peter joining Remus on the floor.

"Who's going first?" Lily asked, as James poured out more goblets of wine and handed them round.

"Who's youngest?" he asked, handing a goblet to Marlene, who finally removed her hand from Sirius', much to his internal chagrin.

"Frank, no?" Peter asked.

"Yeah," Frank replied with a wicked grin, "unfortunately me. August 19th."

"Unlucky," Mary grinned at him.

"Go on then," Frank said, his Yorkshire twang rounded out by a few too many drinks. "Truth."

"How long have you and Alice been doing the dirty and thinking none of us knew?" Lily asked, as though she'd had that question prepared and ready. The group laughed, and both Alice and Frank blushed red to their roots.

"Four months," Frank said finally.

"You total bastard!" Remus said from the floor. "I asked you about it in October and you never said!"

Frank shrugged.

"A gentleman never tells, eh?"

Next was Alice, who confessed that her biggest secret was sleeping with Frank in the library, which brought raucous laughter at the thought of the quiet, studious pair desecrating such a sacred space. Peter took a dare, drinking an ugly concoction of firewhiskey, wine, mead, and Irish cream from the bottle he'd been clutching all night, which curdled immediately upon entering the mixture. So disgusting was the drink, in fact, that it had come out of his nose. James admitted he was most afraid of his parents dying, which turned the mood a little sombre until Lily was dared to take a shot out of his belly button. Then Mary had to kiss Dorcas, and Dorcas had to do her best impression of McGonagall, and Amelia confessed to once sabotaging someone else's potion in order to win 50 points for Hufflepuff.

Then, it was Sirius' turn.

"Dare," he said firmly. Stay away from the truth questions at all costs was his approach.

James looked right at him. It only took a split second for Sirius to decipher the look on his face, the upturned corners of his mouth and the twinkle in his eye. _Lily had told him_, he thought, panicking, _and she'd told him about Marlene too_.

"Kiss the girl you'd most like to date," James said, far too casually.

Internally, Sirius was screeching. He felt like he wanted to turn inside out, jump into the fire, drop a glass of wine over himself, anything to stop them all looking at him like that. Amelia had a gaze one could only describe as expectant. He shot a look at Lily, whose face went pale when she realised he'd deducted the truth. _Traitor._

"Okay," he said finally.

To his right, out the corner of his eye, he saw Amelia sit up a little. It'd be easy, of course, for him to turn that way, kiss her like he'd kissed her before, like everyone was expecting. Instead, he turned to face Marlene, who was studiously considering the goblet in her hand. He shifted slightly, and she looked up at him, her eyes going wide as they met his. _Well, all or nothing_, he supposed. He leant in, bringing her face to his, and kissed her.

It was a gentle kiss, lips touching briefly. No tongue, no heat or fire, but to Sirius it was the best kiss he'd ever had. His body felt alive, that's the only way he could describe it - like Lazarus, like coming back to life again.

They pulled away, and just looked at each other for a moment. Peter, now thoroughly drunk off his unfortunate beverage, wolf whistled.

Remus cleared his throat.

"Well, I'm next," he said, a little too brightly, "or is it you, Marlene?"

"No, you go," Marlene said, flushed, finally breaking eye contact with Sirius.

"Righto, I'll have a dare, please," Remus said. As the group awkwardly began to discuss dares, Sirius just kept looking at her. She'd blushed bright, bright red, and her eyes glistened with wetness. Then, it dawned on him. _I'm in love with her. Fuck. I'm in love with her._

Before Sirius could say or do anything, however, Marlene jumped up.

"ExcusemeIneedthebathroom," she mumbled like it was all one word.

"Wait, Marlene-" Sirius began, rising to his feet, but she didn't listen. She just kept walking, stumbling out of the room. He rounded on his friends.

"I'm going to murder both you-" he pointed at James, before gesturing at Lily.

"What, you guys knew about this?" Mary asked, mouth agape.

"It's… complicated," Lily sighed, but Sirius interrupted her.

"No," he spat, "it isn't. I told you, and you didn't keep your promise."

"Mate," James said sternly, "watch your tone."

Sirius looked at his best friend for a moment, fuming. Then, saying nothing, he stalked out the room.

* * *

He found her in the orangery off the kitchen, looking out the glass into the dark garden. A single candle was on a table, barely lighting the space. As he stood in the doorway, squinting into the darkness, he could hear her crying. That sound made his heart constrict.

"Hey," he said softly, and she jumped. She looked over her shoulder, and upon realising who it was, turned back, fiercely wiping her face.

"What do you want?" she asked, her voice betraying her tears.

"To talk," he said, walking across the room. He noted how good she looked in that jumpsuit from behind._ Not the time_, he thought to himself crossly.

Sirius perched on the arm of a rattan chair, and drew Marlene to face him, rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms.

"C'mere," he said.

"Did you do that just to embarrass me?" she asked, the question flooding out like water. "Cus that wasn't fair, Sirius."

"No." The word hung in the air between them, tiny and yet enormous. "God, no," he laughed.

"Then, why?"

He reached and brushed the tears from her cheeks, running his thumb gently under each eye in turn. He pulled her closer still, until her nose was millimetres from his, and he could count the constellations in her eyes. In lieu of words, he simply leant forward, meeting her lips again with his. This time, he pressed his tongue into her mouth, moaning with the taste of her. Marlene pressed forward, one hand on his leg and the other resting against his chest, while he tangled his fingers through her hair. _I'm going to die_, he thought, _this phenomenal girl is actually going to kill me_.

They pulled apart, lust flushed on both their faces.

"Why do you think?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. The look on her face told him everything - _she felt the same_.

* * *

They hurried up the three flights of stairs to the attic, Sirius dragging her by the hand. As soon as they were in his room, he pushed her back against the door. Where the kiss downstairs had been gentle, full of heart and love, this was passionate and fiery, a fight between the two of them. If the orangery had been Sirius and Marlene, he thought wickedly, then this was most certainly Black and McKinnon. As he kissed and caressed her, he left bright red blooms on her neck, running his hands up and down the curves of her body as he did so.

Her halter came undone, and soon the jumpsuit was on the floor; they, meanwhile, made it to the bed. When she was laid out before him, it was breathtaking. God, he could explore her for hours, run his lips and tongue over every inch of her; pull the soft skin on her collarbone with his teeth, marking her as his. He wanted to soak her up, all that pale, cream body before him, explore all of her secrets and hidden gems. He wanted to plant kisses from her sweet, full lips down her neck, across her décolletage and down her cleavage line between her breasts, going further and further below. He pressed himself against her, the full weight of his body against her. In the library, he'd felt like a giant pressed into a too-small space when he'd been beside her; now, it felt right. Sirius bit down on her lip, extracting a hiss of pain, and Marlene pulled on the back of his hair in retaliation. _That's my girl_, he thought.

His shirt was next to go, and then he was on his back. Kissing him still, she ran her hands over his abs, raking her fingernails over them gently, and he felt a jump south of his navel. Dream girl, in his bed, in her underwear - Sirius could barely cope.

Marlene reached for his belt buckle, and something dawned on him. As much as he wanted her - the tightness in his jeans attested to that - he shook his head, taking her hands in his.

"What, after all that, you don't want me?" Marlene pouted.

"No, I do," Sirius laughed, "but we're both too drunk. Gotta know you want it."

"I do want it," she said, matter of fact.

"When I blow your mind in bed, I want you to remember it." Sirius winked, then rolled onto his side, and patted the space next to him. "C'mere."

Marlene lay down, settling into the little nook between his arms and his chest. Sirius nestled his nose into her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

"You smell like apples," he said, softly. Marlene chuckled.

"Love it when you talk dirty to me," she quipped, and Sirius huffed out a laugh, squeezing her tighter to him in retaliation. The nape of her neck lay before him, her hair tucked to one side, and he bent his head to kiss it. Marlene emitted a soft moan, and goosebumps puckered her skin.

"Can't stop thinking about you," Sirius whispered, between kisses on her neck and shoulder.

"Ditto," she breathed back.

"Not since I kissed you in the common room," he continued, "not since we fought, not since we made up."

"Hell of a long time to wait on someone to get laid. Not like you."

"Don't do that," he said gently, lips pulling on her earlobe, "don't push me away."

"I'm not," Marlene said, her voice tiny.

"Yes, you are," Sirius replied, now peppering her jaw line with kisses. "I want you."

"Really?" Marlene asked, and Sirius could hear the sleep in her voice, its fingers wrapping round her, her eyelids drooping.

"Really," he replied.

* * *

He took it back, every time he'd said it - _this _would be the hangover that killed him. Waking to the harsh light - obviously he'd forgotten to close the curtains - Sirius could barely think or feel anything outside of the throbbing in his head and the extreme nausea. Opening his eyes had been a terrible idea. _Could he make it to the bathroom to throw up_, he wondered.

Then, the flashbacks started. The library, and holding her hand. The truth-or-dare and James looking straight at him, as though he knew absolutely everything, and telling him _kiss the girl you like, Sirius. _The kiss, that had been just as good as the first one, and then the orangery, and the stairs, and more kissing. And then his room, and her jumpsuit and his shirt coming off, and just _so much flesh _before him, and saying no to sex for the first time in his life, and-

He reached his hand out, feeling for the other side of the bed. He turned his head with his eyes still closed, waiting for the spinning to settle before opening them.

The only thing on the bed was a note, written in the near perfect cursive he knew well from observing it written next to him in Transfiguration for nearly seven years.

_I'm sorry - didn't want things to be weird. Had to get home, so I'll see you back at Hogwarts. M x_

Sirius crumpled the paper in his hand. Now he didn't know if the sickness was the alcohol, or his heart.


	7. Don't Jinx It

Sirius was standing in the orangery, where they'd kissed the second time that night. Hempy, bless her soul, had brought him the largest cup of coffee he'd ever seen, and the hangover tonic he'd taken was starting to kick in. The guests had either all left the night before, or earlier that morning - the only other people remaining in the house were James and Remus.

"Pads," James said, and Sirius turned to see him, still standing in his pyjamas.

"What?"

"Look," James sighed, "about last night."

"Which bit?" Sirius muttered. "The bit where you made me kiss the girl I'm mad for, head-over-heels for, in front of everyone, or the bit where you took Lily's side over your best friend's?"

"Pads," James said, "I didn't-"

"Yes, you did!" Sirius exclaimed. "You called me out when I had every right to be pissed with her."

James sighed.

"Lily was just trying-"

"Don't get me started on Evans," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Don't be rude," James said angrily.

"I told her something in confidence, James, and she broke that trust. Even worse, she told you, my best friend, my brother, and you didn't tell me you knew!"

Before James could reply, Remus walked into the room. Unlike James, he was dressed, and held a tray of fresh coffee. He handed the mugs round, and Sirius was grateful for the heat of the mug as he wrapped his hands round it.

"You two duking it out, then?" Remus as he settled onto a sofa.

"Padfoot is still being a dick about Marlene and last night."

"She left, James! She literally left this morning because of what happened."

"That's not my fault! Or Lily's!"

"You're a pair of hypocrites," Sirius muttered, and Remus frowned.

"I get why you're mad, Padfoot, and I think you're right, by the way. But-"

"Tell him," Sirius said simply, looking at James and gesturing towards Remus.

James ran a hand through his messy hair, knowing full well what the look on Sirius' face meant. _He knows_.

"Tell him," Sirius repeated, more firmly this time.

"Lily and I…" James began, and Remus' eyes narrowed.

"Lily and you what, James?" he asked cooly, and took a sip of his coffee.

James sighed, and crossed his arms defensively.

"We've been… seeing each other."

"What?!" Remus asked, coughing from where he'd inhaled his drink. "You knew about this?" he directed his gaze at Sirius.

"No, _actually_, I worked it out last night. At least, I worked out that something had happened between the two of them. A few weeks back, Evans and I ran into each other. She guessed about Marlene, and I'd worked out about her liking James, and we talked. Only reason Prongs would ask me to kiss the girl I wanted to date would be if Lily had told him."

"Still doesn't explain how you knew about me and her, though?" James said obstinately.

"Good guess, and then Evans was shifty as fuck."

"This is a hot mess, and you're both as bad as each other," Remus said, holding up both hands and settling further back on the couch.

"Well, sorry," James said hotly, "you're in no place to judge, Moony, when I have it on good authority that you were seen kissing Emmeline last night, and you didn't tell any of us."

There was a moment of pause. Sirius looked from James to Remus and then back again, in no doubt that his anger had caused his face to flush just like theirs.

"Ok, yeah," Remus said finally, resting his cup of coffee on the table. "Clearly we all need to be more honest with each other."

"Yeah," Sirius sighed, and slumped into a rattan armchair. One of the magical plants on the stand behind him stretched out a leaf and brushed the side of his face, and he swatted it away.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," James said, sitting opposite him. He rested his elbows on his knees and looked at his best friend apologetically. "Lily told me because she wanted to help, and I guess I got caught up in the idea of setting the two of you up."

"I presume that's when she fessed up that she doesn't think you're a slimy git, and instead wants to jump your bones?"

"Actually," James laughed, "that's not when she told me. After she came to find me in Dumbledore's office, I guess I decided it was time to throw caution to the wind, so I kissed her… and, well," he grinned, "she kissed me back. She only told me about your little suggestion afterwards."

"Well, that's snakey on her part," Sirius acknowledged, "but I guess that isn't your fault."

"No, but it still wasn't cool. And, I'm sorry, Pads," James said.

"It's ok," Sirius responded after a second. "You owe me a shit tonne of beer, but it's ok."

"Noted," James grinned back at him. "Are you going to speak to Lily? She had to go early this morning because her aunt is coming over, but I know she's stressing about this."

"I'll send her an owl, later," Sirius said, "and tell her she's a shit, but things are fine. I might find it within myself to tell her I'm happy for you guys, too."

The other two laughed, and Sirius caught James' eye. _Too hard to be angry with him for long_, he mused.

"Now, Casanova," James said, looking at Remus, "how was _your_ night?"

"Eh, it wasn't great. Actually, was awkward as fuck, I have to say," Remus admitted, "cus it turns out she's been seeing someone, and they broke up. She cried when she was telling me, and I didn't know what to do, and then she just… _kissed me._"

Sirius winced.

"Pulling a rebound on you? Not cool."

"Very not cool," James confirmed.

"Very not-happening-again," Remus added.

"When did our lives get like this?" Sirius asked, scrunching up his face. "Prongs has managed to bag the girl of his dreams and _didn't tell anyone_, I've done God-only-knows-what to my friendship and potential for a relationship with McKinnon, and you, Moony, have _turned down Emmeline Vance._" He shook his head. "Not a great look when Wormtail is the most functional of the lot of us."

"Actually," James said, "after you and Marlene left, he spewed all over the carpet in the library."

"That's disgusting."

"Well then," Remus said, "I suppose we've all hit rock bottom. Only up from here, right?"

"Don't jinx it," Sirius replied darkly.

* * *

A fortnight later, after they had been back at Hogwarts for a week, Lily sought out her best friend in the library. January at the castle was always bitterly cold - the snow had been feet deep upon their arrival, and stepping off the Hogwarts Express had been such a shock to the system that it had taken their breath away. Although she was itching for the trip to Hogsmeade that weekend, just to get out of the castle, Lily was already dreading the temperature of the walk down there. She was hopeful that Sirius being in Madam Rosmerta's good graces might mean she'd save them a table near the fire, where they could drink lashings of Rosmerta's hot cider and play cards together for hours.

Lily had told her friends about James, _finally_. Marlene had rolled her eyes, barely able to conceal her grin, before thumping her.

"You should have told us!"

"What?" Lily replied sarcastically. "Like you wouldn't have ripped the shit out of me for falling for James Potter."

"No! Well, yes," Marlene had admitted, "but then I'd have been thrilled that my girl is gettin' it on!"

_Typical Marlene_, Lily thought. She rounded the bookshelves, careful to look for Madam Pince in case she spotted the drinks Lily was carrying, and headed to the back of the library. It was Marlene's favourite spot to study, a table in the corner at the rear of the library, where she could sit with her back to the fireplace, looking out the window over the grounds, and with her feet resting on the hot water pipe that ran around the base of the wall. Sure enough, Lily saw the wheaten hair in the distance, and made her way over.

"Hey, Marls," Lily said smiling, pushing a mug of cocoa over the table.

"Ooh, you absolute angel, Lily Evans," Marlene replied, wrapping her hands round the steaming drink. "I've been thinking about sneaking down to the kitchens for hours, anything to get away from this Charms essay."

"You should ask Sirius," Lily said casually, "he's great at Charms."

Marlene fixed her with a look.

"Stop it," she said, and took a sip.

"What?! He is excellent at Charms! And, while you're there, maybe you and him could sort your shit out?"

"We're fine, Lily!" Marlene said, overly brightly. "What's done is done, and it's not like we're fighting or anything."

"I mean, yeah, it's not as awful as when you were fighting, but the two of you are barely looking at each other, and can't stand be alone together. Watching you sit next to each other in Transfiguration is actively painful, Marls."

Marlene sighed.

"Honestly, it's fine. Really, there's nothing-"

"You guys want to be together," Lily said firmly, "and this is silly. Sirius is avoiding it because he thinks you don't want him, and you… well, I'm not actually sure why you're avoiding it."

"Because he's a slut, Lily," Marlene said knowingly, "and leopards don't change their spots."

"That's not fair, Marls."

"You sure? Amelia Bones, Aoife, Bella Abbott, Hester Fawley, Lucy Swiller - and they're the ones _left_ at Hogwarts, let alone all the ones who have left school. He can't keep it in his pants."

"I think you underestimate him, you know," Lily said gently, "and I think you underestimate yourself."

_Now, where have I heard that before? _Marlene mused, taking another sip of the cocoa, and trying to place the phrase.

"Anyway," she said briskly, "please for the love of God, help me with this Charms essay."

"You'll help me with my Transfiguration one?" Lily asked, accepting the parchment Marlene offered.

"Deal."

* * *

The Saturday morning was, thankfully, freezing but dry. The snow on the ground was still thick, but it was a joy to leave the castle without being caught up in another flurry. The eight of them - the four Marauders, plus Lily, Dorcas, Mary and Marlene - were joined by Frank Longbottom and Alice Collins, as they walked down to the village. Lily and James led the pack, holding hands and laughing at something together. _What a difference a few months makes_, Sirius thought, remembering that early trip to Hogsmeade where the two of them had been blind to the other's feelings. It had gone round the school pretty quickly that James Potter and Lily Evans were dating; Hogwarts was nothing if not reliable when it came to gossip spreading. Of course, it had been aided by the fact that Lily and James had walked into the first breakfast of term holding hands, and James had spent the meal with his arm snaked round her waist. But, even Sirius had to admit, they made an adorable couple.

"Disgustingly cute, aren't they?" Remus said from beside him, as they turned up the main street in Hogsmeade.

"Utterly foul," Sirius replied with a grin, "but very sweet."

"Only taken them our entire education to get there."

"Do you think it was a test for us, really?" Sirius asked. "Like, I don't know, we're all better people because we had to put up with Prongs moping over Evans for six years. Are we more patient? _I _certainly feel more patient."

Remus laughed.

"You've never been patient in your whole life, Padfoot," he chuckled.

"Rude."

The group arrived at the Three Broomsticks, pushing open the door to find it packed with people - both locals and students alike - sheltering from the bitterness outside. Sirius loved the smell of the place - it smelled like firewood, and whiskey, and the sweet aroma of cloves. The group approached the bar, and Sirius squeezed to the front beside an animated Dedalus Diggle.

"Sirius Black!" Rosmerta called from behind the bar.

"Darling Rosmerta, you look a treat. New hair?" Sirius returned, leaving his arms on the worn oak bar.

"Ach, you're still a horrid flirt," Rosmerta tutted, but with a smile. "I got your message - table over there reserved for you, as you asked." She pointed towards the biggest table in the pub, right by the fire.

"You're an angel," Sirius grinned, as the others made their way to the table, grateful to take their thick cloaks off.

"What'll you be having, Mr Black?" Rosmerta continued.

"I think we'll start with a round of hot ciders - that'll be eight, please - and some firewhiskeys."

"Coming up," she replied, and directed her wand to a great urn in the corner, which began to pour out steaming mugs of cider.

"Busy today then?" Sirius asked, offering payment for the drinks.

"Saw your little brother earlier," Rosmerta mentioned casually as she counted out the coins Sirius had handed her.

"Oh, right?" He tried to play it off as equally casual.

"Nasty friends, he's got."

"They're beastly, aren't they?"

"You speak to him much at school?" Rosmerta handed him his change.

"No, not at all, if either of us can help it," Sirius sighed.

"Good," Rosmerta said. She reached across the bar and patted Sirius' arm. "You stick with those friends you've got, Sirius, they'll see you right. Good kids, all of them."

"Yeah," he smiled, glancing over at the group's table, "they're not bad, are they?"

"I see young James Potter's finally managed to nab the girl," she smiled, as the two of them watched James put an arm round Lily and kiss her sweetly on the cheek.

"About bloody time," Sirius laughed.

"No young lady sparking your fires, then?" Rosmerta asked, passing the tray of drinks to Sirius.

"Working on it," he winked.

Rosmerta laughed.

"You would be, Sirius Black. Now, get on with you - I've got customers to serve."

* * *

It was midnight, and Marlene couldn't sleep. The afternoon in Hogsmeade had been wonderful, really, and she'd enjoyed the chat in the common room afterwards. Everyone else seemed to have fallen asleep immediately, leaving her staring at the canopy above her bed and stewing in the darkness. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, she pulled the curtains back from around the bed, and looked out into the dorm. Lily had forgotten to close her curtains, and was sprawled across the bed, her stuffed giraffe, Raphael, tucked under her arm. Marlene smirked slightly. _Bless her_.

She rose quietly, careful not to wake the others, and threw on a pair of jeans, a sweater and some shoes. She didn't really know where she was going - the library, maybe, or just to wander around the corridors for a while. Marlene knew the house elves pretty well - she'd snuck into the kitchens with Lily and the Marauders enough times - so maybe she'd end up there. Better than lying in bed awake for hours, wherever she ended up. Throwing a cautionary look over her shoulder to check her friends were still asleep, she descended to the common room.

Slipping out of the portrait hole, her feet instinctively found themselves heading towards the Astronomy Tower. Maybe it was because she knew Sirius went there when he was stressed, or angry, or in need of a bit of space. Maybe it was because the space seemed to be full of him, even when he wasn't there, and she just wanted to sit in it for a while. Maybe it was because she hoped he was there now, and she could just do it, just unburden herself of it all and confess how she felt.

Arriving at the tower, she climbed the circular stone staircase slowly, lost in her thoughts. She felt the familiar burn in her thighs as she reached the top - it really was a hell of a way up - before she realised what she could hear. Voices. Voices coming from within the upper room of the tower.

"That's good advice, you know."

Marlene knew that voice anywhere. Rough and low, consonants clipped and vowels elongated, money and status rounding out the syllables. _Sirius._But, who was he with? She moved slowly to the archway that gave entrance to the tower, and peered inside.

Sirius was leaning against the stone wall, one of the soles of his loafers resting against it. He was mussing his already-haphazard curls, stress on his face. Across the room, Amelia Bones sat cross-legged on the stone bench - that same stone bench they'd sat on and made up. Marlene gasped, almost instinctively, and the pair's eyes shot towards the door.

"Marlene?" Sirius said, frowning. Marlene felt a frisson in her stomach - he hadn't called her Marlene since _that night_.

"W-what are you doing here?" she replied, almost accusatory.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he said back.

"I'm going to go…" Amelia said awkwardly. "See you around, Sirius."

"Yeah, see you," Sirius replied, not taking his eyes off Marlene. Amelia gave the girl an uncomfortable smile, and hurried out the room.

"Seriously?" Marlene said.

"What does that mean?" Sirius said harshly.

"Amelia Bones again?"

"What? We were talking, McKinnon, nothing more." _There it was. McKinnon again.  
_  
"Sure!" Marlene scoffed.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Sirius growled.

"What?!"

"Why do you always think the worst of me?"

"Because you've never given me reason to think otherwise?"

"Seriously?" Sirius barked out a harsh laugh. "I literally confessed the fact that I can't stop thinking about you at New Year, and you bounced before we could talk about it."

"Because I know you, and I know you were just saying things to get me to sleep with you!" _Even I'm not convinced of that argument_, she realised.

"I literally stopped us having sex, for God's sake!" Sirius cried. "What more evidence do you want that it was not, in fact, getting in your pants that was on my mind?!"

"Well, you seem to have moved on pretty quickly," Marlene said, gesturing her hand toward the door where Amelia had left in such a hurry.

"I was asking her for _advice. _About you," he added.

"What, advice about how to get me into bed like you did with her?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Marlene regretted them. The look of hurt on Sirius' face was all too evident. _Just tell him_, she thought bitterly, _just do it._

"For your information," Sirius said, barely steadying his voice, "I never slept with Amelia."

"Wait, what?"

"I never slept with her," Sirius repeated. "Messed about in a few empty classrooms, sure, but never sex. She's a good listener, actually," he finished lamely.

"Why were you talking to her about me, then?"

"Because I'm mad for you!" Sirius burst out. "Absolutely crazy, head-over-heels, nuts, barmy, bananas, crackers! Have been for months now. Can't stop thinking about you, actually, whether it's in class, or at Quidditch, or in bed at night."

"What?" she said quietly.

"More than that, in fact," Sirius finished, the weight of the words heavy between them, "I'm pretty certain I've fallen in love with you."

She didn't know what to say. The colour had drained from her face, her head swimming.

"You… you what? Me?"

"I love you, simple as that. If you could see yourself, Marlene, through my eyes, you'd understand," Sirius continued, running a hand over his face. "You said you wanted me, I don't understand why you keep pushing me away like this."

"I can't tell you," she said instinctively, without thought. _What the fuck, why did you say that, Marlene?_

"Why not?!" Sirius' voice was rising now, and there were patches of red appearing on his neck.

"You wouldn't understand!"

"Try me!" Sirius said breathlessly, pushing himself off the wall. "Just… try me."

The way he looked at her, expectation in his eyes, and the way the room seemed to be a vacuum of air, it was all too much. Before Marlene could stop them, the words came tumbling out, gaining momentum.

"Because _I love you! _I've always loved you!"

Silence.

_Fuck_, she thought. She'd said it. She couldn't believe she'd actually said it. That secret she'd been carrying around with her for years.

Sirius took a step towards her, his face pale and unreadable.

"Say that again," he whispered.

"I…"

"Marlene," he said, his voice strained, "say it to me again."

_Well, _she thought, _I'm up shit creek now._

"I… I love you," she whispered.

Before she knew it, he had her pressed against the wall, the rough cut of the stone digging into her back. He was kissing her, and she felt like crying and laughing all at once; she'd told him, and he wasn't laughing her out of the room, mocking her for the fact that _the impervious Marlene McKinnon actually felt something._

"How long?" Sirius asked, holding her face in his hands, scanning her face like he wanted to take in every inch of it and commit it to memory for eternity.

"Always," Marlene shrugged, avoiding his eye. "Ever since we were kids. Just… always."

"You fool," Sirius said softly, tilting her head so that she couldn't avoid looking straight into those dark irises. "You should have told me."

"No," she said, shaking her head, "I couldn't."

"Why not?" he asked softly.

"You know why."

The girls. He'd always been a ladies' man, always caught the eye of older Gryffindors who snuck into the common room with him late at night. _Sirius always had someone on the go_, his friends always said. He closed his eyes, filled with uncharacteristic regret.

"Who else knows?" he asked finally.

"That I've been in love with you since I was eleven? Oh, absolutely _everyone_," she quipped sarcastically.

"You're doing it again," Sirius murmured into her ear, after kissing her temple, "stop pushing me away."

"Honestly?" she muttered finally. "The only person who really knows everything is Gideon."

"Prewett?" Sirius frowned, stopping his ministrations.

"Yeah… after you kissed me in the common room, we talked, and… he realised."

She thought back to that morning, after Sirius had kissed her in the common room at the Quidditch after party. She'd woken stupidly early, probably from the stress of it all, and lain in bed until she could take it no longer. She had dressed, and snuck up to Gideon's dormitory. Careful not to wake the other boys, she had shaken him awake. Eyes meeting, he knew what they had to talk about, and had met her in the common room five minutes later. Sitting on the sofas by the newly made fire, they'd talked.

"_It's him, isn't it?" Gideon asked, simply._

"_W-what?" Marlene stuttered._

"_Black."_

"_What?"_

"_C'mon, Marls," he said, smiling with a sigh, "don't lie to me. I think I've always known your heart's been for someone else - why else would we have played the games we have?"_

"_I never meant to hurt you…" Marlene whispered, and Gideon looked at her, knowingly._

"_I know that. Because I think I've been doing the same thing."_

"_Who?" Marlene asked softly._

"_Dorcas," Gideon said. "Taken me a while to realise it, sure."_

"_You'd be good for her, you know that?"_

"_Perhaps," Gideon shrugged. "But I also know what I want to do after Hogwarts, and I'm pretty certain any relationship won't be a priority. My sister - you know Molly, right? - is already involved, and I know the strain her and her husband have to deal with."_

"_And you were going to tell me this when?" Marlene teased._

"_You're the only one who'd put up with it, I think," Gideon joked back. "But, it's not me you want, is it?"_

"_How did you know?"_

"_Last night…" Gideon trailed off. "When you were kissing him, there was this look on your face, and suddenly it all made sense. You just… well, you looked a way I've never got you to look."_

"_I've loved him since we were kids," Marlene said quietly. "God, it's so stupid! Sirius Black doesn't do love and he certainly doesn't do commitment."_

"_Don't underestimate him," Gideon replied, "but, more importantly, don't underestimate yourself. You're a phenomenal young woman, Marlene, and I think you could change the heart of even the most hardened of bachelors."_

"_You're not going to say anything, are you?"_

"_No," Gideon said, shaking his head, "I won't. I'll keep your secret as long as you need, I promise."_

"_You're a good egg, Gideon," Marlene said, smiling sadly. "I wish things were different."_

"_Do you know something? I don't think I do, and I don't think you do, either. We've had fun, McKinnon."_

_He stood up, brushing off his dressing gown with the air of a man who had just done the right thing. Marlene looked up at him fondly._

"_Yeah," she said softly, "we have."_


	8. A Marauder Has His Ways

"You're cold," Sirius said, suddenly noticing Marlene's shivering. "C'mon, let's go back to the common room."

He took her hand in his, smiling, with a look on his face that Marlene could only decipher as shy. _Sirius Black, shy? Miracles really did happen._

They walked slowly back to the common room, hands clasped together. At one point, they spotted Mrs Norris, and had to duck into an empty classroom to avoid Filch's suspicions. Sniggering, they rushed back to the common room as quickly as possible.

Once they were back, Sirius and Marlene headed immediately to the fireplace, where the embers of the fire were still glowing. Sirius pulled out his wand, muttering an incantation, and the fire sprung to life.

"That should warm you up soon," he said, pulling her onto the sofa to lie down against him.

"It was so cold up in the Astronomy Tower," Marlene said. "Should have put more layers on."

"Why were you up there, anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"What, head filled with thoughts of me?" Sirius teased, and Marlene blushed furiously.

"No! I just… it was really nice today, that's all. I had a good time."

"Yeah, me too," Sirius said, brushing some of her curls out of her eyes. With Lily and James paired off, and the same with Alice and Frank, Sirius had wandered Hogsmeade with Remus, Peter and the rest of the girls. They'd ended up in Tomes and Scrolls, the bookshop, where they'd discussed the latest instalment of Jonathan Trout, a famed Wizarding novelist, and then onto Zonko's and Honeydukes, where Sirius had bought Marlene a chocolate frog, just because.

"Why did you never tell me, Marlene?" Sirius asked softly, breaking the silence.

"How do you tell someone that you've felt some way for the best part of a decade?"

"True," Sirius acknowledged.

"And… well, I guess I didn't know if you were done with the other girls, I suppose. You've had someone on the go since fourth year."

"I guess that's fair. So…" Sirius said, taking one of her hands in his, and tracing his index finger over the lines of her palm.

"So?"

"This is it, then?" Sirius said, a twinkle in his eyes. Marlene frowned in confusion. "You and me, two commitment-phobics, finally committing."

"I'm in if you are," she replied shyly.

"Trust me," Sirius whispered, pulling her closer, "I'm in."

Marlene fell asleep before he did, the pattern of her breathing slow and rhythmic. He felt warm, not just from the fire or from the heat of her resting against his chest, but deep down in his bones. He wasn't quite sure how she'd fallen asleep so quickly - his mind was alive with elation. _She felt the same. _That night in the orangery hadn't been an aberration, or a slip of self-control, but _she wanted him_. Sirius stared up at the ornate ceiling of the common room, not bothering to hide his grin. _Not in a hundred years, _he thought, _did I think I'd be grinning like a maniac in the dark because Marlene McKinnon wants me. _Just the idea had kept him going for months, consumed his thoughts in a dull class, or late at night behind the curtains of his four-poster bed in the dormitory while the others slept. _No more going solo_, he thought wickedly. Pulling her closer to him, revelling again in the apple smell of her shampoo, he shut his eyes and waited for sleep to come.

* * *

"Well, well, well."

Sirius opened his eyes. It took him a minute to realise where he was, to realise that he was still lying on the sofa in the the Gryffindor common room, and that a grinning James was looming over him. It took him another moment to realise that the weight on his chest was a still slumbering Marlene. The room felt far too bright, and incredibly hot; his lower back was aching from sleeping on the slightly sagging sofa.

"Something you'd like to tell us?" James said, still grinning, and Sirius noticed that James wasn't alone, but surrounded by the rest of their friends.

"Does this really need explaining?" Sirius asked, yawning and stretching. Marlene woke as he shifted.

"Not really," Lily laughed. "Good night, Marls?"

"The best," Marlene muttered sleepily, burrowing a little further into Sirius' chest. He kissed the top of her head, smoothing down her hair with his hand.

"We're going down to breakfast, you guys joining us?" Remus asked, pointing toward the portrait hole, a smile on his face.

"Go ahead," Sirius waved. "Be down in a bit."

The group moved off and out the common room. Sirius watched them go, before turning to look at Marlene, who was still tucked in at his side.

"You want to get breakfast, love?" he asked.

"In a minute," Marlene yawned. "Let me stay here for a mo."

"Sure," Sirius replied, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger.

"Guess we don't have to tell them all, right?" Marlene huffed.

"No," Sirius chuckled, "guess we don't."

"We could tease them, of course, and pretend like this never happened."

Sirius' heart missed a beat, and Marlene looked up at him.

"I was joking," she said with a smile.

"You better be," he replied, matching her smile with his own.

* * *

_Sirius Black was dating someone_. More than that, Sirius Black was dating _Marlene McKinnon_. The news spread round the castle like wildfire, that the two people least likely to date anyone had, remarkably, decided to date each other. That first morning, they'd walked down to breakfast together, deciding to take a leaf out of James and Lily's book and just saunter in holding hands. There was a ripple among the students when they did, and Sirius relished in it. To be sure, they cut a striking silhouette together: tall, solid Sirius with his dark curls that always flopped forwards into his inky eyes, and willowy, fair Marlene, with those legs that seemed to go on forever, and that wheaten hair that foamed down her back. As they walked in, Sirius had caught Amelia Bones' eye at the Hufflepuff table, and she grinned, giving him a thumbs up. _Good egg, that one, _he thought.

Sirius revelled in the fact that they were the talk of the castle. Marlene, less so, because she wasn't quite the lover of being the centre-of-attention that Sirius was. He would kiss her after class, or take her hand instinctively on the way back from Quidditch practice, not caring who saw; it certainly took some getting used to. They had, of course, had an awkward run-in with Professor McGonagall one evening after supper, when Sirius had pulled her into an alcove on their way back to Gryffindor Tower. Marlene had giggled as he slipped his hands under her top, sliding them round her bare skin to the small of her back. She'd been about to say something when they heard someone clearing their throat, and jumped apart.

"Professor," Sirius said in his brightest voice, "lovely to see you. Great hat, is it new?"

"I realise," McGonagall said, in her trademark, withering tone, "that it is Valentine's Day soon, but must we cavort in dark corners quite so much?"

"Well, Professor," Sirius began charmingly, but McGonagall knew that tone of voice only too well after teaching Sirius Black for nearly seven years.

"To the common room, Black, and you too, Miss McKinnon. I don't want to have to deduct points from my own house for the two of you canoodling in the corridors."

"Righto, Professor," Sirius said, grabbing Marlene's hand and pulling her up the stairs, before either of them could burst into laughter. Had they looked back, of course, they might also have seen a smile on McGonagall's face.

Still, it was nice not to carry that burden anymore, nice to just be honest about how they felt. Being able to look Sirius in the eye and be completely honest with him had been like a weight lifting from Marlene's shoulders, after all. Like with James and Lily, people would get over the novelty in good time.

Soon enough, the end of the month approached and that was just the case, because the end of January meant Lily's birthday. One Wednesday afternoon, Marlene, Sirius, James, Remus and Mary stuffed themselves into a broom closet on the fifth floor. Dorcas, sadly, had been laid up with a bout of flu, and the Marauders had tasked Peter with distracting Lily with his Potions essay.

"Right," Marlene said, "we need to - _ow! Sirius, get off my foot_ \- we need to finish the details on Lily's party."

"Sorry," Sirius said.

"Pads, have you spoken to Aberforth?" James asked.

"Course I have," he replied. "I'm going down to collect the drinks on Friday night."

"How are you going to get there, you'll be caught in a second," Mary frowned.

Sirius chuckled darkly, and tapped the side of his nose.

"A Marauder has his ways, my dear Mary."

"Not the point, can we focus?" Marlene said fractiously.

"Don't stress, babe," Sirius said soothingly.

"I'm not stressed!"

"Is it just me or is it _the temperature of the sun in here?_" Remus asked from the back.

"Yes, let's hurry this along before Remus passes out," James said. "Pads, you're on booze. Moony, you and Mary are going to chat up the house elves, right?"

"Disgusting turn of phrase, but yes," Remus replied.

"So that leaves Marlene and I to sort the decorations," James smiled. "As long as Dorcas is back on her feet by Saturday night, she's on to distract Lils with Wormtail so we can get the common room ready."

"Is that everything?" Mary asked.

"Yes, and don't forget that I've got her a cake organised," Marlene added.

"Dreamy," James said, and clapped his hands together. Sirius hid a smirk - sometimes James was the epitome of Head Boy. "Onwards, gang, and we'll reconvene on Saturday morning."

They shuffled towards the door, James exiting first, followed by Mary and Remus.

"C'mere," Sirius said, grabbing Marlene's hand before she could follow the others out of the cupboard. "What's up?"

"I don't mean to be ratty, I'm sorry," she said.

"It's ok," he said, "but are you sure everything's alright?"

Marlene sighed.

"I had an owl from my parents this morning. My sister and Fawley… they've decided to move to France. He got a job in the Department of International Magical Cooperation office in Paris."

"Is this because of the dickheads running around at the moment?"

"Yeah… they decided it was safer for the baby to be somewhere else. It's no place for Phineas to grow up."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I understand why they're doing it, I just can't help stressing about everything. My parents and brother aren't going anywhere - they're too involved in the Ministry and in the push back against… Voldemort. Maybe that's the worry."

"It's going to be ok, Marls, I promise."

"How can you say that?!" she asked in a hushed tone. "Even _we_ aren't safe and we're purebloods. You're in the sodding Sacred 28, for goodness sake."

"Please don't bring that up, you know I hate it," he muttered.

"I know, I know, I just… if they're coming after _blood traitors_, as they love to call us, what's going to happen to the Muggle-borns?"

"That's why you're so worried about Lily's party, right?" Sirius said gently. "You're worrying about what happens to her after we leave Hogwarts."

"I want to make it good for her. We're so sheltered here, Sirius, but who knows what's going to happen when we leave? I want her to have this."

"You, Marlene McKinnon," Sirius said, taking her face in his hands, "are such a wonderful girl. But I promise, sweetheart, things are going to be ok. We're going to win, but before then, we're going to give Lily the best party ever."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely. Now, give me a kiss to last me through Potions - Slughorn's been a moody bugger for _weeks._"

* * *

Saturday arrived, and the group were ready. That morning, they'd gathered to shift the alcohol that Sirius had procured from the seventh floor to the Gryffindor common room. Now, as the afternoon had turned to evening, Dorcas and Peter were distracting Lily in the library while the others rushed to decorate the common room. James had procured a series of decorations, many of which he'd convinced Sirius to charm - there were now tiny paper woodland animals dancing upon the windowsills and the mantlepiece. Marlene had arranged fake flowers around the pictures on the walls, and bunting criss-crossing from wall to wall.

"We've got about ten minutes, do you think that's enough time?" James asked from the corner of the room. He was organising a group of third years he'd roped into inflating balloons, each of them slightly red in the face from the effort.

"Plenty of time," Marlene said, "if Sirius gets off his arse and helps us." She gave her boyfriend a glare, as he reclined on the sofa. Sirius had, admittedly, done a considerable amount of heavy lifting, shifting alcohol, moving furniture, and bringing his own magic record player down from the dorm in order to provide music.

"You're too far from me to hit me, and too far from your wand to hex me, so I think I'll stay right here," he grinned back, putting his hands behind his head in mock relaxation.

"I used to take dance classes, honey, I'm flexible enough to injure you with my feet from here," Marlene replied, fixing a slightly drooping piece of bunting that slouched off the mantlepiece.

"Kinky."

"She's coming early!" Mary hissed, silencing Marlene before she could respond. Everyone in the common room hushed, as James extinguished the lights - it was pretty packed already, and Sirius knew they were expecting more people. He jumped up off the sofa, and moved to hide behind a rather unflattering statue of Godric Gryffindor beside his girlfriend. Tucked into the corner with Marlene, as they waited, he took the opportunity to slip a hand up her skirt - _it really was indecently short_, he thought.

"Sirius!" Marlene hissed at him. He grinned lazily, and pulled her closer into him as she swatted at his hand.

"What?" he whispered into her ear. "You aren't telling me you expected me to look and not touch, are you?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you, you beast," she muttered back, but it wasn't even a half-hearted attempt to get him to desist, and Sirius knew it.

"Liar," he said, crushing her lips against his, before-

"_SURPRISE!"_

The common room erupted with voices and light as Lily climbed through the portrait hole, flanked by Dorcas and Peter. Upon realising what the commotion was, Lily's face went bright red, her hands coming to her mouth in shock.

"You guys!" she exclaimed.

"Happy Birthday, babe!" James grinned, grabbing her and planting a great kiss on her cheek. Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes at that, and instead took Marlene's hand to pull her over to their friends.

"Happy Birthday, Evans!" he cried, as Marlene gave Lily a hug.

"I can't believe you did this!" Lily said, her eyes wet. "You're the best!"

"We got you a cake, c'mon," Marlene said, pointing Lily towards an armchair. She sat down, shock still on her face, as Marlene quickly moved to the table at the side of the room, returning momentarily with an enormous birthday cake, resplendent with sprinkles and eighteen pink candles.

"Oh my gosh, Marlene! Where did you get that?" Lily asked.

"Borrowed James' darling house elf, obviously," Marlene said, nodding her head towards James.

"Good old Hempy," James replied with a smile. He raised his voice to include the whole room, gesturing with his hands. "Okay, ready, folks? _One, two, three!"_

The room burst out in the old familiar song.

"_Happy birthday to you,_

_Happy birthday to you,_

_Happy birthday dear Evans,_

_Happy birthday to you!"_

Lily blew out the candles, taking a few gos to finally blow out the joke candle Sirius had snuck onto the cake when Marlene hadn't been looking. Sirius flicked his wand, and the record player in the corner started pumping out music. He gestured towards the drinks table, as the crowd began to chat amongst themselves.

"Help yourselves, all of you!" he called to the guests, before turning back to the group that had gathered around Lily's armchair, where James perched on the arm. Marlene was on his left, Remus and Peter on his right, and they'd been joined by Alice, Frank, Mary, and Dorcas.

"We got you some gifts - I know it's not your birthday until tomorrow, but it seems as good a time as any to give you them," Mary explained.

"Yeah, and let's face it - you'll be hungover as shit tomorrow," Sirius added, earning a laugh.

"Go on, open this one," Mary continued, handing Lily a beautifully wrapped gift with a large pink ribbon. "It's from Dorcas and I."

And so, the gift giving began. Mary and Dorcas had given Lily a bottle of beautiful perfume, which she immediately spritzed onto her wrists. James had bought her a golden necklace, a delicate chain with two tiny charm pendants: one capital L, and one dainty little stag, the latter of which made Sirius and Remus catch each other's eye, biting back grins. Lily went bright red upon opening it, and insisted James clip it round her neck immediately. Remus had bought her a beautiful writing set, complete with personalised seal for the wax on the back of her envelopes. Peter, in characteristic form, had procured a box of Honeydukes' most expensive chocolates, and presented them to Lily was a beaming smile.

"Here, this is from Sirius," Marlene said, passing the next gift from the pile. "I apologise in advance for whatever it is, he did _not_ ask my advice, and I obviously didn't help with the travesty that is the wrapping."

"You know you're supposed to be my girlfriend and build me up, not tear me down, McKinnon."

Lily laughed, and unpacked the present in her lap. Two things were revealed as she did so. Lily picked up the first one, a little black box about the size of Sirius' hand, and took off the lid. Inside, a neat silver-coloured hip flask, engraved with her initials, rested on black satin.

"A hip flask!" she laughed.

"Goblin-made, no less, Miss Evans, so it should last a hell of a time."

"This is so characteristically _you_, Sirius, thank you!"

"You know, you're going into the real world after this year, I though you'd need something to take with you. Can't be relying upon the Marauders all your life for your tipples, Evans," he grinned.

"No," Lily laughed, "I suppose I can't."

She reached for the second gift, a bottle that looked about as old as she was. It was corked, and sealed with a silvery wax.

"Sirius is this…" she trailed off. James leant forward, peering at the label.

"Bloody hell, Padfoot!" he said, looking up at his friend with pure shock on his face. "How the hell did you get a bottle of Veela champagne?"

"I know a guy," Sirius replied.

In reality, it had been a hell of a cost. He'd been in touch with Aberforth Dumbledore at the Hog's Head almost as soon as they'd been back to Hogwarts, who'd arranged a meeting in the pub with a French wizard who passed through Hogsmeade every now and then. Hurrying down there through the secret passageway in the Room of Requirement one Wednesday afternoon, they'd met in Aberforth's dank upper room. Sirius was somewhat convinced the man had been part-troll - his body odour had been, quite frankly, rancid - but had nonetheless parted with half the payment in advance for a bottle of the champagne. He'd casually dropped in the Black name as security, and watched the man pale in recognition. When he'd returned to Hogsmeade to collect the rest of the alcohol from Aberforth that he'd purchased for the party, sure enough, the French man was returned with the bottle of Veela champagne. Parting with the second half of the money had been painful - it really was _extortionately expensive _\- but the look on Lily's face made it worth it.

"This must have cost you a fortune!" she cried.

"Can't celebrate your last birthday at Hogwarts without something really great to drink, Evans."

"Thank you so much, Sirius!" Lily said, looking at him with such genuine affection that Sirius didn't really know what to say.

"Well, you know, it was nothing," he shrugged.

Lily moved to open the gift that Alice and Frank had bought her, and the conversation moved on, but Marlene caught his eye.

"Thank you," she mouthed silently, earning a wink in return.

* * *

The night wore on, and Marlene began to tire. She had done the rounds, played countless games of Exploding Snap and Quidcup, danced with Lily and Mary until they'd collapsed in a heap into armchairs. The common room was rammed with people, from third years all the way to seventh years; Lily was well-liked in the house and outside of it, and Marlene had seen a few people from other houses gathered with drinks in hand. Marlene had been chatting to Fabian Prewett, another member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and they'd been joined by Gideon; the three of them had discussed, like old times, the merits of the Wimbourne Wasps versus Puddlemere United in this year's Quidditch League, before the boys hd gone for more drinks. She saw Amelia from across the room, and thought about going over to apologise; before she could, Amelia smiled at her and waved, which she returned.

Marlene spotted Sirius on the other side of the room, bottle of beer in hand, laughing as Peter told him something. _God_, she thought, _I'm mad for him. _In the evening light, she could see the chestnut and chocolate in his dark hair. She'd known every inch of him for years, the way that scruffy kid had grown into broad shoulders and strong arms. He was built like he'd been born to be a Beater; he was solid, sturdy, standing with his chest open, shoulders back and relaxed, one hand in the pocket of his jeans. The other hand was wrapped around his beer, the fingers a little crooked from one-too-many breakages at the mercy of bludgers. There was something about the way he stood that was so characteristically _Sirius_, a sort of unconscious way of being that was utterly unique, and that Marlene couldn't put her finger on.

For a long time, she'd thought it was arrogance in Sirius' stance; Marlene had assumed that that relaxed, confident way of moving and behaving came with Sirius' money and status and good looks. He was confident, certainly, the kind of confident that is so ubiquitous in clever, successful teenage boys with good friends. Since getting to know him intimately, she'd realised her mistake. What she'd learnt was Sirius' different kind of self-belief, reflected in everything that he did and every interaction he had and the way he held himself. Not arrogance, but instead a simple, unshakeable belief in doing the _right_ thing, in being on the _right_ side, no matter the consequences. It was a kind of certainty that made him kind to people who needed it, even if that kindness sometimes meant showing them how to laugh at themselves; it was what spurred him on in the sometimes unfathomably high standards he held for himself in his relationship with his friends. The same belief had caused him to up sticks and leave home, and meant he shunned his brother at school even though he grieved for their sibling relationship dreadfully.

When she saw Regulus around the castle, she was shocked at how much he didn't resemble his brother. Sure, that trademark head of Black curls was the same, but the look of his face was remarkably different. Regulus was sallow where Sirius was pink-cheeked, even when both brothers had been playing Quidditch; his forehead was heavier and lower, his eyebrows so often knitted together in a frown. Sirius, by comparison, had features that were open and warm, his eyes crinkled round the sides and a lazy grin. They looked like Blacks, both of them, but if anything, Regulus was a testament to the idea that carrying on with wretchedness made one wretched. Sirius, instead, seemed at times the very definition of freedom.

As Marlene moved towards him, she saw Peter gesture towards the drinks table, and walk away. Sirius span around, breaking into a grin when he saw her approaching.

"Hi, love," Sirius said, putting his arm around her. "Enjoying it?"

"Yeah, it's a good time," Marlene said with a smile, "but I'm wiped."

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Think I'm going to head to bed," she replied quietly, planting a kiss on his bicep.

Sirius grinned.

"Want some company?" he asked.

"Are you inviting me up for coffee, Mr. Black?" Marlene asked mock-seriously.

"After you, Miss McKinnon," he said, bowing and gesturing towards the boys' dormitory stairs.

Sirius and Marlene were soon ensconced in his dorm, away from the party. They could still hear the _thump-thump-thump_ of the music, and Sirius wondered for a moment whether it was really wise for him to have left his records and player at the hands of increasingly drunk students. Nevertheless, he pulled the drapes around the bed, and cast a silencing charm. Turning back, the sight of her took his breath away. Marlene was reclined on the red bedspread, her hair fanning around her, and her skirt had ridden up even further revealing the tops of her stockings. Like some kind of heat-seeking missile, his hands reached for them immediately.

"You look beautiful, in case I didn't tell you," Sirius murmured, and brushed her neck with his lips.

"You might have mentioned it," she said back.

"This skirt is tremendously naughty, though," Sirius grinned, rubbing the edge of the fabric between his thumb and forefinger.

"Only wear it because I know it drives you mad."

"It does, it really does," he groaned against her neck. He dipped his hand under her chiffon top, stretching it across the smooth plane of her stomach.

"Take this off," Marlene instructed, pulling at the soft cotton of his t shirt. He obliged, and Marlene bit her lower lip in lust as he revealed those toned abs, dark hairs running down to his waistband, and that hideous dog tattoo on his chest, just off centre.

"I really hate the tattoo, you know," she said, planting a kiss on his neck as he lay over her again. Sirius let out a laugh - no, more than just a laugh. A deep, rich, hearty, _genuine _laugh, and Marlene's insides flip-flopped at the sound. Sirius did a lot of smirking, a lot of chuckling, a lot of sarcastic sniggering, but it was rare that she saw him properly laugh like that.

"It's not supposed to be aesthetically pleasing, that's the point," he muttered.

"Why both having it, then?"

"What can I say? It adds to my allure."

"You trying to impress other girls, Black?"

"With you in my life, McKinnon? _Never._"

He kissed her, and Marlene wrapped one hand around the back of his neck, the other running down his back. He moaned as her nails caught his skin, and pushed his tongue into her mouth, teasing hers. He moved his thigh between hers, and then it was Marlene's turn to groan.

"Far too many clothes here," he whispered, pushing her stockings down, and kissing her again.

One thing led to another, as it was bound to do, and soon she was lying there, utterly undressed, Sirius resting on his arms above her with his belt unbuckled.

"You really are fucking magnificent," Sirius said, eyes roaming all over her body. Marlene had never felt so _exposed_, so laid open and bare - literally, and figuratively. She blushed.

"No," he breathed, "no, don't do that. Don't be embarrassed."

"Bit hard when you're staring at me like you're trying to pull out my soul."

"Anyone ever told you you're not a natural romantic, honey?" he laughed.

"Working on it," she grumbled, and he laughed into her lips again. Before he could respond, she'd flipped their positions, so that she was sat astride him. Marlene shifted against the hardness of his groin, and Sirius groaned, his eyes slipping shut, and he ran his hands desperately up and down her bare thighs.

"Antsy, aren't we?" Marlene teased.

"Only been waiting on this since New Year," he said, biting back another moan as she moved on him. Of course _that_ made her want to tear every piece of remaining clothing off of him.

"Why did you make us wait?" Marlene asked, and Sirius' eyes flew open.

"Remember what I said to you, that night?"

"Not really, actually," she admitted, and Sirius laughed.

"_Exactly. _I'm many things, Marls, but I'm not enough of a dick to do that. But, I'll refresh your memory: I said that when I blow your mind in bed, I want you to remember it."

"What a _line_."

"Won't be saying that when I'm proving it to you, will you?"

"Why are you wearing so many _clothes?_" she said, sudden and breathless, climbing off him. Sirius laughed, and pushed his jeans down, flipping over to lie atop her again, before Marlene spoke.

"Are those… are those dogs on your boxers?"

Sirius looked down.

"What? Oh, yeah… James' parents got me them for Christmas. Got a pair of matching socks somewhere."

This time it was Marlene's turn to laugh.

"Have I told you," she said, pulling his face to hers and planting a kiss on his lips, "that you're fucking adorable. They really are your family."

"Once or twice," he grinned, and his hand began to slip down her body, "but if it's all the same, I'd rather not talk about James' parents while I do _this_."

Marlene opened her mouth to protest, but groaned instead as Sirius' hand found its destination. Talk, it seemed, could wait.


	9. He's One of a Kind

"It's Valentine's Day next week."

Marlene looked up from her desk in the library as Sirius walked towards her. The afternoon light came through the window, casting one side of her face into gold. _God, I'm a lucky bastard_, he thought, approaching the table and giving her a chaste kiss.

"I love that you've learnt the calendar, good job!" Marlene teased as he took a seat beside her.

"Behave," he said good-naturedly, passing her a piece from the chocolate bar he'd brought with him.

"Thank you," Marlene said with a smile, popping the piece into her mouth.

"What d'you wanna do?" Sirius asked thickly through his own chocolate.

"I don't really mind. It's a Hogsmeade weekend, right?"

"Yup."

"Grab a drink? I don't know, what do you want to do?"

Sirius shrugged.

"What does one do on Valentine's? I've never had a Valentine before," he admitted.

"If I'm honest, I'm really not fussed. I kinda just want to do what we'd usually do on a Hogsmeade weekend, you know?" Marlene scrunched up her face.

"You sure? Not just saying that and then when I don't buy you anything you'll be mad at me?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "No," she laughed, "I'm not buying you anything, if that helps."

"Good," Sirius beamed. "I'll send a message to Rosmerta, get her to save us a table. Don't know what the others will be doing, imagine James will take Evans to Madam Puddifoot's." He made a face.

"If you take me there, I'll break up with you," Marlene said nonchalantly, scanning the papers in front of her. "Noted."

"Oh! Also meant to ask, what do you think of this?" Marlene pushed a catalogue towards him, pointing out one of the figures on the page, a model witch who twirled back and forth in a beautiful midnight blue dress. "I was thinking of wearing it to the Leavers' Ball in May."

Every year, seventh year students were treated to an evening in the grounds of the castle, where a magical marquee was erected; there was a feast, and drinking and dancing, and Dumbledore usually made a speech that inevitably brought everyone to tears.

"S'nice," Sirius said.

"Nice?" Marlene asked. "Anything more effusive to add to that, Black?"

"You know I prefer you with your clothes off, McKinnon," he replied with a cheeky grin.

"Flirt."

"How are you feeling about the match this weekend, by the way?" Sirius asked.

"It'll be a tough one - the Slytherin team are really good this year. Your brother's turned out to be quite the seeker."

"Stupid git," Sirius murmured to no one in particular.

"Be careful, yeah? You know their captain, Flint, is a devil with his beater's bat."

"Worried for me, are you?" Sirius teased, and Marlene fixed him with a look.

"Yes, as it happens, I am worried about my boyfriend's safety."

"Say that again," Sirius grinned.

"What?" "Say it again, what you called me."

"I don- my boyfriend?" Marlene frowned, completely confused. Somehow, Sirius' grin got even bigger when she said the words.

"Sounds great, that."

"I seem to remember a little while ago you saying to me that you didn't think I was a romantic. Seems you were overcompensating for how much of a sucker you are," Marlene teased. "Me?" Sirius laid a hand on his chest. "Hard as nails."

"Shut up, Sirius, you're a total sap."

* * *

Saturday morning dawned fresh and crisp, a light frost glittering upon the grounds. The sky was clear of clouds for the first time in a while, weak winter sunlight bouncing off the lake. Sirius had woken early, before the rest of the Marauders, and dressed quietly before creeping out of the dormitory. Now, ensconced at the Gryffindor table, he lazily ate a bowl of porridge and read the Daily Prophet, as his fellow students came into the Great Hall in dribs and drabs.

"Morning," came Marlene's voice in his ear. He felt her hands on his shoulders, and she gave him a swift kiss on the cheek.

"Morning," he replied. "Want tea?"

"Coffee, please."

Sirius obliged, pouring the hot liquid out of the pot in front of him, and passing it to Marlene as she sat down.

"Pass the sugar, please," she said, taking the steaming cup.

"Not like you, you're sweet enough as it is."

Marlene rolled her eyes, taking the sugar pot, and dumping two large teaspoons of the white granules into her coffee.

"Need a bit of a boost this morning, what can I say? Anything interesting in the Prophet today?"

"No," Sirius sighed, scanning the front page again. "Just the usual doom and gloom."

"Don't know why I bother asking anymore."

"Don't know why I bother reading, to be honest."

The pair looked at each other, and Sirius couldn't help breaking into a broad and genuine smile. He reached out, taking Marlene's hand and running his dumb over her knuckles - he ignored the giggles from a group of third year girls slightly further down the table.

"You're going to make your fan club jealous," Marlene mocked in a stage whisper.

"Gladly," Sirius replied, "if I get to hold your hand, Marlene McKinnon."

"Good thing I let you then, isn't it, Sirius Black?"

They were joined in that moment by Lily and James, approaching the table with their arms around each other. James' was slung around Lily's shoulders, and he had her pulled close to him, whispering something into her ear that was causing her to blush. Sirius and Marlene shared an amused glance - they knew an afterglow when they saw it.

"Morning, folks," James said, flinging himself into the seat opposite Sirius. Lily sat beside him, admittedly in a more restrained manner.

"Morning," Sirius replied through a mouthful of bacon.

"Feeling pepped up and ready?" James asked, handing Lily a glass of orange juice.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Marlene shrugged. "You watching with Remus and Peter, Lils?"

"Yep," Lily answered, "and Mary's going to join us once she's out of detention with Flitwick. Poor Dorcas is feeling under the weather again."

"What's Macdonald doing in detention with Flitwick of all people?" Sirius frowned. "She's great at Charms."

"Exactly," Lily replied, "which means she never does the homework because she doesn't see the point. Even Flitwick's favourite gets a detention every once in a while for that."

"D'you know, my respect for Macdonald only grows with every passing day," Sirius mused lightly.

"How're you feeling about the match?" James asked, turning the conversation once again to Quidditch. "Confident against Regulus, Marlene?"

At the mention of his brother, Sirius concentrated very hard on buttering another piece of toast.

"It'll be a tight match," Marlene admitted, "but I think I can out-fly him. He's quick, sure, but he usually relies on that over being first to spot the Snitch."

"And with that bloody fantastic new broom of yours," James grinned.

"I like my chances," she finished, matching James' smile with one of her own.

* * *

God, it felt good to be in the air. Sirius took a moment to assess the Quidditch pitch after shadowing James, the latter of whom had managed to score a really rather remarkable goal. They were just into the second half, and Sirius was hovering some ten-or-so-feet from the ground, eyes flitting back and forth as he looked for the two bludgers. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted one hurtling towards him. Turning, Sirius took an almighty swing at the bludger, sending the ball spinning off towards two of the Slytherin chasers. The dull _thunk_ let him know he'd hit his target, and Sirius grinned in spite of himself. He spun around, bat in hand.

_Smack._

He didn't, at first, know what had hit him. All he knew was that a great force knocked him from his broom, sending him spiralling toward the ground. Sirius collided with the hard earth, his breath pushed out of his lungs by the force of it. _Jesus, _he thought. Getting his bearings, he saw his little brother's laughing face a few feet away, as Regulus sat up and brushed his emerald green robes down.

"Oi," Sirius snarled, "you little shit."

"Getting slow are you, big brother?" Regulus sneered back, now on his feet.

"C'mere, you filthy little twat," Sirius said, jumping up. "Won't have such a mouth on you after I've beat you to a pulp."

"All brawn and no brains, as per usual, Sirius."

Sirius lunged towards his brother. He heard his teammates land, but didn't take his eyes off of Regulus. Before he could respond, he felt someone yanking him by the shoulder, strong arms pulling him backwards. He realised it was the Prewett twins, pulling him back, Gideon shouting into his ear to ignore it. James marched up to Sirius, cutting off all view of Regulus as the Slytherin captain did the same.

"Padfoot," James growled, grabbing Sirius by the neck of his Quidditch robes. His face was inches from his best friend's, close enough for Sirius' breath to steam up the bottom of his glasses. "Don't you fucking dare quit on me now for your slimy toe rag of a brother."

"Get off me, Prongs!" Sirius snarled, struggling under James' surprisingly tight grip.

"No!" James spat back, shaking Sirius firmly. "I'm not talking as your friend, I'm talking as your captain. Get back on your fucking broom."

Sirius didn't say anything for a moment, before yanking his robes from James' grip. Glaring daggers at them all, he mounted his broom and kicked off from the still-frosted ground.

"You," James pointed at the Slytherin captain, Christian Flint, "keep your fucking players in check." He turned back to the rest of the team, their faces betraying shock at James of all people losing his temper. "Gryffindors, get the back in the air!"

Sirius was furious as he took to the skies again. The look on his face was pure, unfettered rage; he was practically spitting venom. He circled the pitch, climbing higher in order to survey the damage. The rest of the team, save for James, had returned to the air; their captain was talking animatedly with the Quidditch mistress, Madam Hooch, and the Slytherin captain on the ground. James, every now and then, gestured angrily towards Regulus. Finally, Madam Hooch blew her whistle, and the captains kicked off again.

Marlene hovered next to him.

"Sirius?" she said.

"What? Going to tell me not to let him get to me? Bit late for that."

She reached across the air and grabbed him by the forearm, and Sirius met her eyes.

"No, because I'm not James," Marlene said deliberately. "I'm going to tell you to beat the motherfucker by _winning_, honey. Also not going to lie and say that the whole macho-testosterone thing didn't turn me on."

Sirius grinned.

"Knew I fell for you for a reason," he said wickedly. "You seen the Snitch yet?"

Marlene shook her head.

"Regulus is a good Seeker, but he's definitely not seen it either. Wouldn't have pulled that little stunt if he had."

"True."

"So I need you to focus, Sirius. Their beaters are savage."

"Well," Sirius sighed, feeling his anger dissipate, "I've got your back."

"I know you have. C'mon, Black," she said, her eyes twinkling as she turned her broom and readied to shoot off, "let's give them hell."

"Lead the way, McKinnon."

* * *

Gryffindor won, and very convincingly. James scored another seven times, each time to raucous applause from not just the Gryffindor supporters, but also those from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. _Slytherin_, Sirius thought, _really didn't stand a chance_. Marlene had taken the Snitch in the seventy-third minute, beating Regulus to that little golden orb by a matter of centimetres, after a hair-raising chase from one end of the pitch to the other. Landing roughly, Sirius had dropped his broom in favour of gathering Marlene up in a passionate kiss, to many wolf-whistles and hollers from the crowd. The team then returned to the changing rooms, beaming smiles and enthusiastically patting one another on the back. Sirius spuriously avoided James' eye as they did so, instead heading straight to the showers.

Twenty minutes later, after every inch of sweat and mud was washed away, Sirius walked out of the boys' showers with a towel wrapped around his waist. He settled himself on the bench, next to where Marlene was packing away her gear, and was about to ask her a question when James strode over to him. Sirius realised the three of them were the last left in the changing room, and that his best friend had been waiting for that exact moment.

"What were you playing at, Sirius?" James said, and Sirius bit back the urge to laugh.

"Playing at? He knocked me off my broom!"

"So you get back on it, and you keep playing!"

"Is that what you'd have done, Prongs?"

"Yes!" James cried. "Who cares if your Baby Death Eater brother pushed you a little bit? Get over it, Padfoot!"

"Oh, right!" Sirius scoffed, barking out a laugh. "You'd know what it's like to have a Baby Death Eater brother, right?"

"Keep your family drama off the Quidditch pitch, you know it's not the place," James growled.

"Watch your fucking tone, Potter," Marlene said, laying a hand on Sirius' arm. She'd appeared by his side quietly.

"You're seriously going to defend that show?" James gaped.

"Regulus is a brat, we both know that," Marlene shrugged. "Doesn't mean you have to be a brat about it, either, James. Sirius had the right to be pissed about it, we all would be in his situation."

"You're only saying that because you're dating, McKinnon!"

"Yeah," she said softly, "I am."

Silence fell. Neither James nor Marlene were backing down, staring at each other. James' face was red, displaying his anger and irritation; Marlene, in comparison, seemed frighteningly calm. Sirius knew who he'd put money on in duel.

"Yeah, ok," James sighed, finally, scanning Marlene's face before turning to Sirius. "You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have had a go at you, because I don't know how it feels."

"No hard feelings," Sirius shrugged.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Sirius smiled. "See you back at the castle, yeah?"

"Sure," James grinned back. He glanced at Marlene for a moment, his face unreadable, before leaving the changing rooms. Sirius watched him go, before turning to Marlene.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," he said quietly, wrapping an arm round her and pulling her close to his chest.

"I know," Marlene said simply, resting both hands on Sirius' bare chest.

"Appreciate it, though," Sirius replied, and kissed her gently. Marlene's hands moved from his chest, gently down his abs until they were resting at the top of his towel. Sirius felt a jump south of his navel, and pulled his lips from hers.

"Here?" he asked, eyebrows raised incredulously.

"Everyone else is already back at the castle," she whispered, "and I told you all that testosterone got me hot and bothered."

Marlene pushed Sirius' towel down, exposing him. Sirius was about to speak, possibly to offer a weak protest, when she kissed him on the mouth, soft and gentle. His tongue slipped against hers, and he tangled his hands in her golden curls, taking in the soft feel of them against his rough hands. Her hands, meanwhile, had descended further, gripping him as he hardened against her palms, straining at the bit.

"Let me," Marlene whispered in his ear. She kissed his neck, gently at first, and then pulling at the skin with her teeth, leaving proud red marks on his neck and jaw in the way he usually did to her. She usually used concealing charms, or covered the more stubborn ones with make up when that didn't work. Sirius would leave them out for all to see, like he always did; Marlene always teased him about it, about the fact that ladies man Sirius Black liked showing off the angry bruises that marked him as _hers_.

Then, she was on her knees, and Sirius looked down at her, scarcely able to believe that this insanely _perfect_ girl was on her knees in front of him, licking her lips and staring him down like he was the most delectable thing she'd ever seen. When she took him in her mouth, Sirius slipped his eyes closed, as fireworks exploded on the inside of his eyelids over and over again. God, he could barely breathe, all he could think about was the feeling of her soft lips all over him, nimble fingers working in tandem, tongue driving him crazy. The feeling was almost excruciatingly perfect, and he lost himself in it.

"'M close," he grunted after a while, drawing on every ounce of willpower he had, and she slowed, pulling away from him and standing up.

"How'd you want me?" Marlene whispered in his ear, and if he'd thought he was hard before, _that_ sent a jolt of electricity through him. Sirius pushed aside his belongings on the bench, sitting down and patting his knee.

"Here," he said, his voice gruff.

She look too much enjoyment from teasing him, he knew that, as she began to slowly undress. The disparity in their attire suddenly became ludicrously apparent, and Sirius was almost salivating as he watched her. Had she been in her school uniform, she might have just hiked her skirt up and slipped out of her underwear, and gone to town just like that. Now, she was pushing her jeans down those long, long legs, kicking them off. Then, she was in his lap, kissing him again and gasping with anticipation as they rubbed against each other.

_God_, he wanted to stay like this forever, the two of them wrapped up in each other in the Quidditch changing rooms. It was hardly the most romantic place in the castle - he could think of a hundred other places that didn't smell quite so much like mud and leather, he had to admit. But then, she was moving up and down on top of him, and Sirius didn't care, didn't care about where they were or who might walk in or anything other than the sensations flooding his body. Marlene had her hands on his shoulders, and Sirius moved his hand from her smooth thigh to her lower back, gripping her soft, supple flesh as the pleasure increased. She had her head thrown back, moaning with wanton abandon, and Sirius pulled her closer to him, clamping his lips around her collarbone and leaving matching bruises to the ones now blooming on his own neck.

"Sirius," she breathed, and he knew she was close.

"Look at me," he urged, barely getting the words out. His throat felt dry from the panting, his voice alien to him. Marlene obliged, opening her eyes and meeting his. Sirius felt himself building towards an explosion as she did, and that's when he knew what he wanted: he wanted to keep looking into those eyes for the rest of his life. That, or he wanted to die looking at them, right there in the Quidditch changing room, with nothing else seeming to matter in the world.

* * *

"I thought we should… talk."

Marlene looked up from the book she was reading. It was a free period, the day before Valentine's Day, and she was tucked into an armchair in the Gryffindor common room. James was standing in front of her, hands in his trouser pockets, looking sheepish.

"Talk?" Marlene frowned confusedly.

"Yeah," James sighed, pulling a small stool over and perching on it, so he was sat right in front of her. "About the weekend."

"Gotta be a bit more specific."

"The match," James said simply, and Marlene realised what he was talking about. She closed her book.

"I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about," she said.

"I'm not…" James trailed off, looking at his hands, and sighed. "I guess I just wanted to know where you were coming from, that's all."

"You know me," Marlene said, quietly, "you know I call Sirius on his bullshit whenever necessary. But, that show at the match wasn't bullshit, James."

"I just feel like he could have left it, that's all. We're through to the finals because of that match, and he put that in danger."

"You're an only child, right?" Marlene queried, and James knotted his brows in confusion.

"Yeah."

"Parents who love you? Stable family life?" Marlene asked, and James nodded. "Then you're never really going to understand. Imagine not being the long-awaited miracle baby but just another kid in a fucked-up family who constantly seems to be disappointing, no matter what you do. Even when you're brilliant, you're disappointing, because it's not the right _kind_ of brilliance."

"Well-"

"And," Marlene continued, "don't even for a second think of saying he's not brilliant, because you know he is."

James laughed.

"I wasn't going to," he said good-naturedly. "Do you know how many of our little adventures wouldn't have been possible without him?"

"That doesn't surprise me."

"What I was going to say is that I get it - he _is_ brilliant. He walked away from all of their mess. I couldn't have done it."

"Neither could I," Marlene said, "and I think that's the point. Even if we don't say it to him, we've got really used to him being able to do all the things by himself, that it's unthinkable that he might have a moment every now and then when the brilliance slips and he's just that pissed off kid with the shitty brother."

"Yeah, that's true,"James admitted. "I guess I understand yours and his relationship a bit better now, too."

"What do you mean?" Marlene frowned.

"Well," James started, and then stopped, clearly thinking how to phrase his comment. "I know how it is to be in love with someone, right? Like, I love Lily so much sometimes it feels like I'm going to stop breathing." He blushed, and Marlene smiled knowingly. "And yes, I know, that's a total cliche, but that's how I feel about her. I guess that moment after the match made me realise that I'm not the only one who has the urge to do everything to protect that person they're crazy about."

"You wanna know something?" Marlene said, after a moment.

"Sure."

"I've loved him probably as long as you've loved Lily," she continued, noticing the shocked look on James' face. "And don't look at me like that - not all of us wear our hearts on our sleeves like you do, James Potter."

"I always thought you were just friends…" James said with surprise. "When, you know, did you _know_?"

"That first detention," Marlene said, with a knowing grin. "Came out of it and _obviously _everyone wanted to know how detention was with the all-star James Potter. No one else seemed to be interested in knowing anything about mysterious Sirius Black, which was baffling to me - no offence, of course."

"None taken, although I will point out that it's reasonable for everyone to have been more interested in me. I _am_ taller, after all, and that's very important when you're eleven."

Marlene threw her head back and laughed.

"Oh shut up, James, you were scrawny little things. _I_ was taller than both of you at that point."

"Ok, fair."

"Anyway, I don't think I knew what I felt, at first. We became friends, and I thought it was just that that was how you felt about your guy friends. Didn't occur to me that I didn't feel the same about you, or Remus, or - _God forbid _\- Peter. After a while I kind of had to acknowledge the fact that feeling like you want to actually die when seeing Sirius make out with some other girl probably wasn't the mark of being _just friends_."

"But you dated other people? Benjy? Gideon?"

"Halfhearted attempts at distraction, I suppose," Marlene shrugged.

"I guess he's one of a kind, right?"

Marlene was about to respond, when the portrait hole opened, and in strolled Sirius. He was carrying a stack of books under one arm, his other hand stuffed into his pocket, and he looked the picture of good cheer. His face lit up when he saw James and Marlene, and he bounded over to them.

"Guess what? McGonagall just gave me ten points for _not_ hexing the first year that spilled pumpkin juice on my shoes!"

James and Marlene shared a knowing smile. Yes, that was their Sirius - one of a kind.


End file.
